Wouldn't it be great?
If your kids actually wanted to behave.
If you could be less frustrated and angry, because your kids listened to what you said.
If they were keen to help you and do what you asked.
What if there were a simple technique you could use to make this transformation? To actually transform your kids into people who wanted to behave.
Well, there is a way.
Now, what I'm about to tell you might seem like it won't address the issue. You might not believe it works, but it does.
It's simple, it's incredibly effective, and it's even enjoyable for both you and your kids.
Are you ready to give it a go?
Increase Your Bond
Here's the secret strategy: it's spending special time with each of your kids individually, each day.
I warned you that you might not believe me, but before you dismiss this idea, let me explain.
The reason this works is that it brings you both closer together. And when you feel closer, and more loving, you speak more kindly to each other.
You want to maintain that closeness, and you both work to remain close and loving.
And if you spend time individually with each child, preferably twice a day, you'll notice a big change.
Be sure you are emotionally available to your child during this time -- no multi-tasking! Chatting while you put away the shopping or prepare dinner doesn't count.
Ideally you're aiming for about 10 minutes once or twice a day, with each child. But if you can't reach this ideal, don't give up -- any time you can put into this will reap rewards.
You might start doing this once a day with each child, for just a couple of minutes. That's fine.
You will still notice a big improvement in your relationship, and in their willingness to do what you ask.
10 Ways To Do It
I know that finding 10 minutes for each child is a challenge. Even if you only have two kids -- like me -- that's twenty minutes.
And it's hard to find twenty minutes, particularly when you already have too much to do.
So what about two minutes? Surely you can find two minutes a day for each of your kids.
And what that two minutes with your kids could be the best two minutes of your day?
Because I've come up with 10 great ways to spend 2 minutes with your kids, that will leave you all smiling. Here goes:
- Tickle without touching. Take it in turns to tickle each other, without actually making contact. My kids love this. All I do is wiggle my fin gers around as if I was burying them in their tummy, and they're in stitches. It's hilarious.
Time Is Precious
I know that your time is precious and that there are never enough hours in the day. But if you have four kids, and you spend 2 minutes with each of them, that's less than 10 minutes.
And I know that you can find 10 minutes a day for your children, because they're precious, and you love them. And 10 minutes a day is not much to ask, is it?
If you keep doing regular special time with your kids, they'll surprise you in all sorts of ways.
I guarantee it.
This post first appeared on How to Train Your Children.
Cate is on a mission to help parents stop yelling and create families that listen to each other. She does this while imperfectly parenting two boisterous girls of her own, and learning from her mistakes. Download her free Cheat Sheet to Get Your Kids from "No" to "Yes" in Three Simple Steps and reduce your yelling today.