The Blog

How to Walk Into A Room -- And Own It

You've seen her. She walks into the room and heads turn, conversations stop, and everyone wants to know "Who's that girl?" Well, you're that girl -- or you can be!
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

No matter what a woman looks like, if she's confident, she's sexy

― Paris Hilton
You've seen her. She walks into the room and heads turn, conversations stop, and everyone wants to know "Who's that girl?" Well, you're that girl - or you can be!

Image source:

Cocktail parties, or any large groups of people, can be intimidating. You walk into a room and it seems that everyone knows each other, except you. Learn to walk in with confidence, make a powerful first impression, and have everyone eating out of your hands!

Confidence isn't walking into a room with your nose in the air, thinking that you're better than everyone else; it's walking into the room and not having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place.

-Author Unknown


The worst you can do is walk in cold. Know the purpose of the event and who is attending. Going in armed with information will make you more relaxed and you'll be ahead of the game.

Be appropriately and comfortably dressed. Try on your clothes before the event. On a basic level, make sure your clothes fit and are stain free. Wear shoes that will allow you to stand and walk comfortably. If your skirt is too tight, or if you're nervous that your boobs might fall out, don't wear that outfit to this event. Constantly pulling at your clothes neither exudes nor instills confidence. Not only will it make you look like you don't own the room, you will look like you don't even belong in it.

Image source:
Don't look for liquid confidence in your glass. remember, it came in with you!

Have small talk ready. Possible topics: how you know the host, an interesting piece of jewelry, location of the event, what you do for a living, a new restaurant, upcoming holiday plans, etc. Make sure you are abreast of current events. You will want to make sure that you will have quality input in the conversation. Topics off limits: religion, income and politics.

Have a bite to eat beforehand. This might seem counterintuitive, but you don't want to be seen wolfing down appetizers like you are at the last supper! Having a snack before you arrive will take the edge off, making food less of a priority. (And you wouldn't want to drink on an empty stomach anyway!)

READY, SET..........

Image source:

I used to walk into a room and wonder if they like me. Now I look around and wonder if I like them.
-Author Unknown

Use the bathroom before you go in. Doing the pee pee dance in the middle of a conversation is not a good look. While you're there, check your teeth for lipstick and give your outfit a final once over. Do a "power pose" in the mirror - arms and feet stretched wide - it's proven to instill confidence. Get your head in the game and tell yourself "I've got this," because you do! After popping a breath mint, you're ready to enter the room with confidence and make it yours!


Walk in with confidence. Hold your head high and throw your shoulders back. Take long strides as you enter. Smile gently (please don't grin!) as you make eye contact with all you meet. Know that your body language says volumes before you utter a word. Your body language should be saying "I'm powerful and confident. You want to know me."


Speaking of saying a word, you will need to strike up a conversation as soon as possible. Standing alone at a party is an image killer, so you've got to get in a conversation ASAP. If you see someone you know, wave and head right on over. It's always good to strike up a conversation with a compliment; "that's an exquisite broach, " or "that's my favorite shade of blue," is just enough to get a conversation started.

Image source:
Strong is the new pretty.
-Kate T. Parker

If you don't know anyone or if it's awkward to enter a conversation, then head to the bar. Your purpose, however, is not to get a drink, but to strike up a conversation with someone else waiting for a drink. Whatever you do, don't stand around looking lost.

Once you have a drink, keep it in your left hand. You don't want to have to juggle your drink to shake hands or extend an icy hand. If you must hold it with your right hand, use a napkin.


After introductions are made, give a firm handshake and strike a power pose with your feet spread widely, while also being ladylike. (Again, it's a power thing.) Keep eye contact with the person to whom you are talking. Do not scan the room for better alternatives.

Knowing how to exit a conversation is just as important as getting into one. When you are ready to move on, say something like "It's been great talking to you. I need to go find my -----husband, collegue, etc.

Eat, Drink and Be Merry (with limits)

Because you've had a snack before you arrived, you won't try to make a meal of the appetizers. Only eat enough to counteract your alcohol intake. Hopefully you are not there for the food and even if you are, there's no need to look like it. Likewise, keep your alcohol intake moderate. Drink enough to make you social, but not so much that it loosens your lips and sinks your ship. Remember, your goal is to exude confidence!


Nothing screams insecure louder than not being able to eat, drink and talk at the same time; it's a party, for God's sake! But how do you handle eating and drinking at a cocktail party without looking like you are the balancing act in a circus? It easy. Here's a step by step guide.

How to Hold A Drink, Plate And Napkin In One Hand

1. Using your left hand, put napkin between the baby and ring finger.

Image source:

2. Use ring and middle finger as a base for plate.

Image source:

3. Use your thumb and index finger to hold the glass and stabilize the plate.

Image source:

Become the "it" girl that walks into the room and steals the show.

You can do this!


For more helpful hints to help you take it to the next level, take a look at these articles from Gracious Living Guide: provides inspiration, tips and support to elevate your life experiences and help you live a life you love. Topics include travel, entertaining, life hacks, product reviews and much more.