As the summer drew to an end -- I waited in deep apprehension for the 2017-2018 school year to begin. I knew middle school was going to change everything for my daughter, our family and especially me. My heart was already completely crumbling as I knew what 6th grade brought with it. The throws of middle school meant - almost complete independence, tons of mood swings, new homework schedule, later nights, more friend phone calls and FaceTime usage and less and less time with my beautiful daughter who once wanted me around, less hugs, way more sassiness than I could ever imagine (LOL), math problems that I had not ever seen before or could never make up if I tried ... lol, unanswered text messages, all new clothes - no more hand me downs and having difficult conversations so I can teach my daughter to decipher right from wrong and set her up for future success.
It all began when I showed up to volunteer selling t - shirts at her school and one of the other Moms encouraged me to go and eat lunch with my daughter before I left school. I slowly walked into the cafeteria, a few feet from where we all were standing and selling the merchandise - I kindly asked if I may sit down with her and her friends to eat and she said ... "NO". My heart sank. I wanted to run away. I felt every feeling come rushing into my mind and my body was paralyzed for a moment. My daughter was growing up and I could not be a part of her social life at school anymore. I was to stay away and allow her to have her independence. I swiftly went away - holding back tears and got into my car and drove away as fast as I could. In that still silent moment .... I knew life would never be the same again and it hasn't been.
My daughter loves middle school and tells me she does not miss elementary school and never wants to go back there again. I cannot go on the field trips, I once happily attended religiously. She stays up way later than she did last year, she makes a lot of her own meals, I have to bite my tongue when her hormones are erratic, she gets up a lot later now, she discusses issues and life experiences with me when they arise as she is mature beyond her years and she tells me to get out of her room when wants her privacy .... just a few short years ago she begged me to hold her at night to comfort her while she slept. A loving distant memory I have is that of her allowing me to rock her to sleep and fall soundly into my arms allowing me to hold her for hours.
My daughter used to love playing with my son and I. We used to get out all the board games and spend a ton of time as a family. We frequented the pet shops, library, went on scavenger hunts, played hide and seek, I threw my kids on the bed before sleep each night - listening to them laugh out loud because of our silliness together. She used to allow me to brush her hair and we did a lot more arts and crafts with one another. We still spend a great deal of quality time with each other - but the dynamics have changed immensely.
I have cherished every waking minute with my kids and I sacrificed my whole life to make sure they will remember that I was there through it all. I hardly missed a field trip, I went to preschool to lay down with them at nap time, I volunteered hundreds of hours at their school teaching children all about life, being in the cafeteria every chance I could get, teaching in the classroom to children who needed extra assistance in learning, Field Day, graduation, homeroom Mom, making copies, being directly involved so my kids would know how much I care and love them and other children as well. Now .... I cannot go near my child at school and her strength has made me a better Mom and showed me what is really important in life -- presence NOT presents and loving people not possessions.
I do not know where you are with your walk in life or on your journey but I can be a positive walking testimony that if you will learn to grow with the changes - life will show you a better future. My story changes lives and I know it helps others to cope with situations that seem unfair and you feel like you cannot go on sometimes and yet you find a way to do so. In the blink of an eye -- our lives absolutely changed forever and I will not be able to get back my time but thankfully, I made so much time for my children's childhood and have no regrets. I am the type of parent that faced reality early on and told myself that no matter what I would be an involved parent and that has made all the difference(s) in my kids development, education, social life and play time. I do not give up - even when life gets tough and it has more times than not. God has shown me a better way to deal with the punches that come my way - and life goes on - it always does and my new perspective brought down walls, softened my heart and allowed me to face my fears of my kids growing up and learning what life is all about and applying it in their own endeavors.
Do not be afraid to share your story as I know it will change others lives, as mine has. And although, I had to face the hard reality that nothing is the same as it used to be .... my kids know I love them and will always show up for them, no matter what. They can always count on me ... I am their #1 fan and no one loves them more than I do. For that I am sure!
Article written by Kelly Benamati
You can follow Kelly's journey on Facebook at Kelly Benamati (her personal page) and she has founded a global blog BloominLIFE on Facebook - join to be powerfully inspired each day. You can also find her on Instagram @ KellyMasterOfLife. Thank you for all of the support as I positively change lives around the globe, one smart proactive decision at a time. Create A Vision, Step Into Your Power and Create Massive Action For Powerful Results. #KB
