The Blog

Is He The Cheating Kind?

While no person or relationship is the same, there are a few signs that are hard to overlook and I wanted to pass them alone.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

I recently had a tough conversation with a friend of mine about cheating. She has been in a relationship with the same man for about six years. She wants to get married. He doesn't. She has accepted that and is happy with the commitment they have. Except now, she is not so sure he is keeping his end of the commitment.

We started talking about the signs of cheating. Which of course, is never a good sign. But it got me thinking about whether or not there are standard signs or if every person is just different when it comes to this subject.

While no person or relationship is the same, there are a few signs that are hard to overlook and I wanted to pass them along.

1. Too Much Of A Good Thing Is Not Always A Good Thing.
Is he overly attentive all of a sudden? Does his behavior seem out of character? I'm talking about over the top attention (that is out of the ordinary), gifts that he would not normally buy and odd phone calls at odd times. It is great to have all those things if he has always behaved that way. If he hasn't, then you may want to give things a second look.

2. The New Man.
If you man is suddenly rocking out to music you have never heard of, wearing a new scent and is all of a sudden the life of the party (when he was once a wallflower), it could be a sign there is something else going on in his life. Mid-life crisis is always an option, but if that is not the case, he could be straying. Often times, men take on new behavior or the likes of the person they are trying to impress and striving to be with.

3. Turning The Tables
If a person is suddenly accusing you of cheating, this is one of those classic signs of cheating. This can happen because he is over ridden with guilt and is projecting his feelings onto you.

4. His Phone Is Turned Off Or Simply Off Limits.
If you do not have access to your partner's phone or he turns it off or is very private and jumpy when rings, he most likely has something to hide. A man with nothing to hide not worried about who's calling or worried about turning his phone over so you can't see who is ringing his line.

5. He Likes To Pick Fights Suddenly.
It's a strange sign, but it is a sign of cheating. Like the gift giving, this can be due to a high level of guilt and the fact he is trying to excuse himself for his behavior. He may be fighting with you so he can justify the fact he is seeing someone else, because he is not happy in the relationship.

6. Bedroom or Boardroom.
Your bedroom time together comes to a screeching halt. If you can't remember the last time you were intimate, it could indicate a bigger problem. Don't ignore this sign; it's one of the biggest red flags.

7. New Names.
There is suddenly a new person he is talking about all the time. She just comes up in conversation for no reason at all or a part of a story. We are not talking about once or twice but all the time, even when a story does not need the addition of her name.

8. Gut Check.
At the end of the day, do a gut check. You are not being paranoid. Sometimes you just know. You feel it in your gut. Call it intuition or perhaps it is just something you have sensed for a long time and didn't want to admit.

While I hope that you don't ever see any of these signs in your relationships, these are just a few to help you in case you are having some doubts. Don't take them as law, but do take them seriously because you deserve someone as committed to you as you are to them.

MORE IN Divorce