Growing up surrounded by highly explosive XY chromosomes, the expectation was clear from an early age: learn sports, play sports, love sports... or die. I chose to live.
As a child, if I wanted a playmate, I had to become one with testosterone and their activities. Not only did I live with three brothers, but the entire neighborhood was dominated by the male beast.
While my siblings were okay with the fact I was of the female persuasion (perhaps because I proved to be just as competitive when it came to grabbing the last piece of cake, the front seat of the car, or monopolizing the only TV in the house) I didn’t fare as well with the other boys on the block.
“The expectation was clear from an early age: learn sports, play sports, love sports... or die. I chose to live.”
“Honey, what happened?” my mom asked as I flew past her in tears one warm summer afternoon in 1961.
Through heaving sobs, my 9-year-old mouth sputtered, “They told me I couldn’t play anymore because I run like a girl.”
Gathering me into her loving arms, Mom stroked my head until the waterworks subsided. Then, placing me on her lap, putting my head to her chest, she soothed, “Well, honey. You are a girl.”
“But they made it sound like a bad thing. Like I was no good.”
Seeing this as a wonderful opportunity for learning, Mom dried my tear stained face and lead me to the bathroom mirror.
“Tell me what you see?” she began.
“Through heaving sobs, my 9-year-old mouth sputtered, “They told I couldn’t play anymore because I run like a girl.””
At first, I wondered if this was some trick question. All I saw was a freckle-faced, buck-toothed kid with two ponytails.
Nudging me a little closer to my reflection, she instructed, “Look harder.”
For the longest time, I stared at the disheveled creature before me. Not sure what she was getting at, I took a guess: “Me?”
"That's right!" she shouted. "You! You in your perfect form, and that includes being a girl. Don't let anyone ever make you feel that it's a bad thing."
Back in those archaic post-World War II days, little girls were raised to be feminine, pleasers, and conformists. While my mom worked tirelessly to break me out of the ice tray society froze their daughters in, it only worked for so long. No sooner would I stand tall and proud than cruel words were flung in my face, and I'd crumble all over again.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Mom always said this was a good script to use when faced with degrading comments, but the truth is words are powerful weapons on the human heart. They not only hurt, but they can also destroy and leave the victim struggling to put the pieces of their soul back together again.
“Today, when I hear I do anything “just like a girl,” I say, “Why thank you!” for that’s exactly what I am.”
It was my mother’s desire to change the world for her children. She wanted bullies' taunting to evaporate in the air as quickly as she wanted societal norms to change. A part of her must have known that was an impossible feat, so she concentrated on her children with words of encouragement and self-awareness, hoping one day they’d become engrained in our psyche. Fortunately, her hard work finally paid off.
Today, when I hear I do anything “just like a girl,” I say, “Why thank you!” for that’s exactly what I am. And because I have two X chromosomes, I run like me, dance like me, wear clothes and make-up that reflect me. I even fight like me when the time calls for it. For I am a girl, I am me, and at 61, I own it. I pray I educated my daughters equally well the lessons Mom taught me so long ago.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.