In order for a politician to endure the public spotlight and harsh criticism, one must have a healthy form of narcissism. The politicians must firmly believe their policy to be the best, and they must lack empathy to those who disagree with them. The only way to win an election is to be a narcissist, and a savvy one at best.
However, Donald Trump is taking his narcissism to new heights, and America is going to pay for it should he be elected.
As a divorce and relationship coach, I have seen the destructive nature of narcissistic personality disorder on those who are married to a narcissist. Narcissists first present themselves as charming and charismatic, and their magnetic demeanor makes everyone want more of them. Those who love a narcissist feel that they have found their prince or princess, and they hold their narcissist to the highest esteem.
But because a narcissist can never uphold their false sense of self for too long, they show weakness and inconsistencies with their supposed grandeur. If their lover begins to catch on that perhaps they are no longer truly special, the once kind and affectionate partner turns into a bully, spewing out threats and vitriol to their lover.
But should the narcissist's lover have enough, and begin to question the narcissist's authenticity or integrity, he or she will witness a fit of rage and abuse, and be verbally or physically attacked. When a narcissist is challenged, they run the risk of being exposed and losing their narcissistic supply that feeds their ego. Should others catch on, the narcissist's popularity is gravely at stake, and the entire pedestal on which they stand is at risk for annihilation.
From the bedroom to the boardroom, a narcissist will provoke and antagonize anyone who challenges them. They will threaten and blackmail, and go as far as displaying child-like behavior by name-calling, and insulting anyone who takes the opposite side. And like a bully in a school yard, anyone who stands up to the narcissist will pay for it dearly.
Case in point: Donald Trump.
After Thursday's debate, Trump had a field day on Twitter, name-calling those who challenged him. He called Frank Luntz a "low class slob" and Megyn Kelly the "biggest loser" of the night. In fact, he seemed to be most threatened by Kelly's accusation of him being offensive and misogynistic. Her assertion to Trump, "You've called women you don't like, 'fat pigs,' 'dogs,' 'slobs' and 'disgusting animals'", perhaps won praise from female viewers, but it clearly hit a nerve with Trump. Oh no, he certainly wouldn't have that.
So he bashed Kelly in multiple tweets, calling her a "bimbo" and unprofessional. In one tweet he said, "Wow, @megynkelly really bombed tonight. People are going wild on twitter. Funny to watch."
Is it really that funny, Trump, or are you a wee bit nervous that she called you out?
What's "funny" is the irony that after she alluded to his misogynistic point of views, he fell right for it -- he proved her point by broadcasting via Twitter his disdain and disgust for intelligent women who confront him. Is this who we want for as president of the United States?
While Donald Trump is providing us with entertainment during the summer doldrums of bad television, Americans need to comprehend the risk he poses on our country. We are at a time where diplomacy is needed more than ever, so putting an unfiltered, volatile, self-proclaimed politically incorrect narcissist in office is a ticking time bomb. Should anyone disagree with his policy, especially those countries of which we seek peace, how can we be certain he won't call someone in power a "big fat loser," a "clown," or some other derogatory statement?
If we want to see our country thrive, we must not get sucked into a candidate's popularity or charm. We aren't in middle school anymore -- we don't have to play with the bully to be cool. As Americans we need to set boundaries, and remember what is and isn't appropriate. We should honor our integrity in the bedroom, in the boardroom, and now more than ever, in the voting room.
Lindsey Ellison is founder of Start Over. Find Happiness., a coaching practice that helps people navigate through their divorce or break ups, and find healthier relationships. She also specializes in narcissistic abuse and recovery through coaching and her online course, Break Free From Your Narcissist.