Poll: Majority of Americans Hope Decade Turns Out to Be Dream Sequence

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) - As the decade draws to a close, a new poll shows that a majority of Americans are holding out hope that the ten years just past turn out to be a dream sequence from which they will soon awake.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota's Opinion Research Institute, reveals that an overwhelming majority of Americans "strongly agree" with the statement, "This decade was so fucking unreal it better turn out to be a fucking bad dream or some shit like that."

Professor Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey, said that the proliferation of hoaxes, such as Balloon Boy and the party-crashing Salahis, may have contributed to the sense that the decade was just a bad dream.

"The decade ended with people who didn't belong in the White House illegally scamming their way in," Professor Logsdon said. "Of course, that's the way it began, too." More here.