Semen Cocktails: New Cookbook, 'Semenology,' Provides Recipes, Storage Tips And More

GROSS: Semen Cocktails, Anyone?
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We've seen some strange food trends in our day. But this one absolutely, positively, beyond any shadow of a doubt, takes the cake.

In his new book "Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook," Bay Area author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer details the benefits of bartending with, you guessed it, human semen.

A follow-up to his first book, "Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes," "Semenology" is what Photenhauer describes as "the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits."

In the book, Photenhauer provides semen storage and flavor enhancement tips, as well as plenty of deliciously titled recipes like the Macho Mojito, the Slightly Saltier Caviar and the Galliano Cum Shot. (We couldn't make this stuff up.)

But why?

Photenhauer argues that the complexities of semen could be compared to those in wine or cheese, and that the ingredient adds a special "personal touch."

"People eat all kinds of weird stuff," Photenhauer told SF Weekly's Anna Roth in an interview. "Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is…at least it's fresh and you know who the producer is."

However, in his interview with the Weekly, Photenhauer was sure to cite the precautions.

"I would never eat or drink semen, cooked or otherwise, from someone I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with," he said.

Bottoms up, everyone!

Food Trends Others Predict For 2013
13. Popcorn(01 of13)
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What is it? New frontiers in gourmet popcorn -- unusual flavors, thoughtfully-sourced ingredients. Who thinks it's a trend?Technomic, Hour Detroit, Sterling-Rice (credit:Getty Images)
12. Tea(02 of13)
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What is it? Some people think tea is the new coffee, and that we're likely to see more varieties in the future.Who thinks it's a trend?The Food Channel, Bon Appetit (credit:Shutterstock)
11. Cured Meat(03 of13)
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What is it? Chefs and meat processors are still finding new ways to produce scrumptious varieties of salumi & charcuterie beyond things like prosciutto and pancetta.Who thinks it's a trend?The New York Times, Baum & Whiteman (credit:Getty Images)
10. Gochujang(04 of13)
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What is it? A Korean hot sauce that some thing could soon supplant sriracha as the red Asian condiment of choice.Who thinks it's a trend?Bon Appetit, Baum & Whiteman (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5be3731de4b0b83d9e85ac3b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="27" data-vars-position-in-unit="31">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/30139045@N00/7433247186" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="tawalker" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5be3731de4b0b83d9e85ac3b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/30139045@N00/7433247186" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="28" data-vars-position-in-unit="32">tawalker</a>)
9. Chicken(05 of13)
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What is it? With the price of beef, lamb & pork soaring, restaurants have increasingly looked toward luxurious preparations of chicken as a viable meat entree on moderately-priced menus.Who thinks it's a trend?Bon Appetit, Baum & Whiteman (credit:AP)
8. Winter Veggies, Served Fresh(06 of13)
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What is it? Especially at high-end restaurants, vegetables that grow in the winter, like squashes, kale and turnip, have been served more frequently in preparations that are lighter and fresher than old staples like roasting and stewing.Who thinks it's a trend?The Food Channel, The New York Times (credit:Shutterstock)
7. Barrel-Aged Hot Sauce(07 of13)
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What is it? Like barrel-aged bourbon or wine, except hot sauce.Who thinks it's a trend?The New York Times, Eatocracy (credit:<a href="http://www.facebook.com/lapellah" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Facebook:Lapellah" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5be3731de4b0b83d9e85ac3b" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.facebook.com/lapellah" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="20" data-vars-position-in-unit="24">Facebook:Lapellah</a>)
6. Chef Collaborations(08 of13)
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What is it? Chefs are increasingly coming out of the kitchen to make new kinds of food in concert with other chefs or with food companies.Who thinks it's a trend?Bon Appetit, Epicurious (credit:Getty Images)
5. Non-Alcoholic Beverages(09 of13)
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What is it? As younger diners, pregnant women and non-drinkers visit high-end restaurants more often, they increasingly look for beverage options that don't include booze but nonetheless taste interesting.Who thinks it's a trend?Eatocracy, Baum & Whiteman (credit:Shutterstock)
4. Artisanal Bread(10 of13)
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What is it? Restaurants and bakeries alike have been putting more effort into their bread baskets of late.Who thinks it's a trend?Bon Appetit, Baum & Whiteman (credit:Getty Images)
3. Fermentation(11 of13)
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What is it? Foods like kimchi and sauerkraut have become extremely prominent due to their unusual meld of umami and sour tastes.Who thinks it's a trend?The New York Times, Technomic, Hour Detroit, Baum & Whiteman (credit:Getty Images)
2. Vegetables As Main Courses(12 of13)
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What is it? Chefs bored by the same old seared pork chops and braised short ribs have been experimenting more and more with putting vegetables at the center of the plate rather than forcing them to play supporting roles, much to the delight of vegetarian diners. Who thinks it's a trend?Technomic, Eatocracy, Epicurious, Sterling-Rice (credit:AP)
1. Smoke(13 of13)
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What is it? Smoke is being used to preserve and flavor ingredient food and drinks far afield of standbyes like trout and salmon: potatoes, bourbon, creme fraiche and even water, to name a few.Who thinks it's a trend?The New York Times, The Food Channel, Bon Appetit, Baum & Whiteman (credit:Alamy)

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