A natural cloud of suspicion surrounds the act of selling a used car. Like, if it’s so great and dependable, why are you getting rid of it?
However, for one guy on Craigslist, selling his silver 1999 Toyota Corolla was all about lifting that cloud with brutal, unadulterated honesty. And after reading his hilarious ad, we’ll be damned if you won’t want to at least take it for a test drive.
The ad has since been removed from the site, probably for being too real, but one Twitter user was nice enough to preserve it for posterity.
Some of the highlights include:
- “Bluetooth: nope. Sunroof: nope. Fancy wheels: nope. Rear view camera: nope ... but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a f**king neck that can turn.”
- “This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.”
- ″In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as ‘optional.’”
- “You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would f**king start right up.”
- “Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you.”
Now that’s how you sell an automobile. Whether it worked, unfortunately, remains unknown to us.