40 Things 'This Is 40' Gets Right About Middle Age

Writer/director/producer Judd Apatow arrives with his family and cast members, from left, Iris Apatow, Maude Apatow and Lesli
Writer/director/producer Judd Apatow arrives with his family and cast members, from left, Iris Apatow, Maude Apatow and Leslie Mann at the premiere of Universal's 'This Is 40,' December 12, 2012 at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, California. AFP PHOTO / ROBYN BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

I am over 50 but "This Is 40," the new movie starring Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann, empowered me more than any self-help book I've read about middle age and long-term marriage. And I've read a lot.

Director Judd Apatow, who is best known for his signature crude humor, has crafted a surprisingly moving, totally honest and absolutely hilarious movie which made me feel like he had been eavesdropping on my life.

"The best thing you can do as a creative person is to share your story with people," Apatow told me, "because it makes other people feel less alone and it makes them feel better."

Here are 40 apparently-universal truths about middle age that are featured in the movie and to which, for better or worse, I totally relate:

1. We have fond memories of growing up without electronics.

2. Women don't want to know their husband is taking Viagra.

3. Megan Fox's body makes us feel bad about ourselves.

4. Sometimes we just want our spouse to go away so we can miss them.

5. We freak out on birthdays that end in a zero.

6. Sprinkles cupcakes are as addictive as cigarettes.

7. The combination of our hormones and our teenage daughters' hormones is explosive.

8. Our iPhone calendar is filled with doctor appointments.

9. Women still like to talk about problems, and men still want to escape.

10. Top 40 music can keep us young or make us feel very old.

11. Widowers get more action than widows.

12. We can rationalize getting high because it's medicinal marijuana.

13. Shopping at certain stores feels like a rite of passage we don't want to go through yet.

14. We understand why Meatloaf was "praying for the end of time."

15. Our seduction attempts often look like wardrobe malfunctions.

16. It's hard to remember what year we used for our birthday.

17. We miss passion.

18. One night away can do wonders for a marriage.

19. One minute back, and it's like nothing has changed.

20. We still crave our parents' approval.

21. We realize money is finite.

22. "Lost" leaves us lost, but "Mad Men" is smoking.

23. We like to keep a little mystery in our marriage.

24. Mama bears get more ferocious with age.

25. Our spouses often feel like siblings -- or business associates.

26. Men of a certain age have a tendency to look like pedophiles.

27. One partner needs to be the fighter.

28. Bodily functions do not constitute foreplay.

29. We still have our childhood insecurities.

30. Moods change very quickly.

31. We have less of a filter when we speak.

32. Being the meat of the sandwich generation makes us want to become vegetarians.

33. We remember Graham Parker in his heyday.

34. Some days, everything our spouse says is just plain annoying.

35. Husbands want their wives to look at them in the same loving way they look at the kids.

36. We believe the wisdom born of age has made us smarter than everyone else.

37. It's impossible to connect when one partner is on Venus and the other is on Mars.

38. Laughter can get us through almost anything.

39. We still like to be flirted with.

40. Marriage is worth working on.