10 Reasons Why Your Fifties Rock

Even though the texture of my neck leaves a lot to be desired, no amount of weight training can keep my upper arms from jiggling --and my bra size is a 36 long --My life is FAR from over!

I feel great, I look good for my age and I want to just give life a big old slap on the ass for providing such incomparable entertainment, (because we all came here to be entertained, right?)

Here's to 50 and beyond!

1) No more zits. That's huge for me. I literally had chin acne up until five minutes ago.

2) More free time because of reduced mirror time. 
When I think back on all the hours I wasted...happily, the perfectionist in me has died.
I can't see as well as I used to and using the magnifying mirror is just plain masochistic, so, if I have an occasional chin hair or some stray lipstick creeping into the creases above my upper lip--cut me some slack. BTW: Who knew it would become so trendy to have gray hair and that all the young women would compliment me on mine.

3) My BS meter is finely tuned,
I can smell a bullshit story a mile away.

4) I BE WISE.
I did not sit out my life on the sidelines, I have lived.
Therefore, I may not have a Ph.D. or be that tech savvy, 
but I have a ton of common sense and "I be wise in the ways of the world."

5) People's expectations of me are less, so when I get off the back of the motorcycle, or they see my nose ring, or I say something current or profane--it catches them by surprise-- which I love!

6) My bucket list is getting shorter, and it seems suddenly attainable. Bo shizzle!

7) I have felt all different kinds of love in my life
(Except for a child...next life.)
But I do know the difference between dog love and cat love; a teenage crush; mis-guided 20-something love; sibling love; infatuation (not to be confused with love); lust (also not to be mistaken, under any circumstances for love); platonic love; love of country (don't wince, travel-- then come talk to me); and last but certainly not least-- Self love.

8) I don't give a f***.
Because I don't want to waste them. My inhibitions are almost non-existent. I'll give you my opinion, I don't shy away from conflict, I'll sing first at karaoke night and I'll dance in Greek restaurants. 

I think I exhausted my lifetime supply of self consciousness in my twenties and thirties.

9) I stopped asking: Why? It was just SO exhausting. I wish I'd stopped sooner.

10) I realize that I may have more years behind me than in front of me, and that doesn't make me sad, it mobilizes me. Times a wastin'!

Okay you over -ifties, what can you add?

If you haven't reached 50 yet, what are you looking forward to?

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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