There was a time in my life when I was hanging out with all the wrong people.
Let me be clear, they were awesome individuals, they just weren't my crowd. They didn't get me, they liked to do all the things I really didn't care to do, and they talked about things I had no interest in.
Hanging around with them made me feel drained, depressed and lonely.
Lonely because I couldn't make a connection with them around subjects that had meaning to me... Drained because I had to be someone else to fit in with who they were and what they wanted to do... Depressed because, well, it sucks to feel like you don't fit in or like people just don't get you.
Am I right?
So how do you attract the right people into your life? Are you ready for this? Because it's some seriously powerful stuff: Be yourself! 100 percent of the time and 100 percent real.
If you think that you're being real, but you're still finding the wrong people showing up in your life, then you need to take a moment to reassess your you-ness. If the wrong people are showing up, I'm positive that on some level, you're putting out an inauthentic version of yourself.
Do you bite your tongue and smile when talking to some people? Do you neglect to mention the things that you really love for fear that you'll be judged or criticized -- or just to fit in? Do you smile and nod when you really want to give someone a piece of your mind? Do you dress differently for different people? Do you have a work mode, friends mode and family mode?
Yes to some, yes to all? These are just a few examples of where an inauthentic version of you may be making an appearance and creating opportunities for the wrong people to settle into your life.
Yes, I know it's scary to put yourself out there. And why is this? Because the likelihood of turning people off is far greater and the chance that you'll alienate someone is completely unavoidable. That's scary, especially if you're someone who feels like you need everyone to like you. But the thing is... By being true to yourself, you will automatically deter those people who don't belong in your life.
The people that you offend or alienate, are not your people. They're not the people that will love and appreciate the uniquely beautiful person that you are. They're not the people who will support you, understand you, cheer you on and hold your hand when times are tough.
The really awesome side to deterring the wrong people from your life is that you're creating space for the right people to show up. There's no room for the amazingly supportive BFF to show up if you're wasting time with the wrong crowd. There's no space for the right guy to show up if you're spending too much time trying to impress Joe-Schmo who's going to ditch you anyways when you finally reveal you're true self. Better yet, it leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Start being true to you today. Order the meal that you really want, talk about the things that light you up, wear the clothes that you feel most comfortable in and speak your truth. Start small and be prepared to let the wrong people fall out of your life. Remember, you're simply creating an enjoyable life of authenticity that will magnetize the right people with zero effort.
What areas of your life are you attracting the wrong people? In what ways are you being inauthentic? Let me know in the comments section below, I would love to hear your insights!
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."
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