The Best Way To Prepare Yourself For Bad News

Do not ignore the worst-case scenario.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

That's the often-quoted mantra among people on the verge of receiving potentially bad news. Everyone prepares for bad news a little differently -- some dive right in and dissect every horrifying outcome while others maintain a sunny disposition and refuse to worry until there's something definitive to worry about -- but according to researcher and psychology professor Dr. Kate Sweeny, there may actually be an ideal way to approach the uncertainty.

In her research, Sweeny has studied patients awaiting biopsy results, law students awaiting news about the bar exam, researchers awaiting manuscript decisions and countless others in similar states of uncertainty. In some cases, people know that the news is going to be bad; the only question is to what degree. For these types of moments, Sweeny has concluded that the best approach is to allow yourself to expect the worst-case scenario.

"It's no fun to expect the worst or brace for the worst, but it helps you to really be ready to take that bad news when it comes, given that you know that it's going to be one kind of bad or another," Sweeny says. "This can be really important when you have to then make decisions after the bad news."

For example, imagine that you've made a huge error at work. You know you'll be in trouble for it, but you don't know whether you'll be reprimanded or fired. Sweeny's research suggests that it is best to prepare for losing the job.

"If you've prepared for that, both emotionally and practically speaking, it might not be such a bad blow," she says. "You might have already started looking at other jobs that you could apply for, you've maybe warned your family."

The same effect can happen with even the most life-altering news, Sweeny adds.

"We know from research that when people hear they have cancer, for example, they tend to shut down. They don't hear anything the doctor's saying, and it's really difficult to make good decisions," she says. "If you're prepared when you go in, that you know the news will be bad, then you might be able to make better, quicker decisions in these life-threatening moments."

The key to this preparation is to make sure you prepare on both an emotional and operational level.

"That might mean thinking about how you'll cope, it might mean calling a friend so you know that there will be someone there, or it might mean to set things up logistically... That could mean making sure your kids have a way to get to school if you need to get treatment, it could mean making sure there's someone to take care of the house if you need to be away for a while," Sweeny says.

Though this approach may seem dark or initially off-putting, Sweeny says that it can have a powerful impact when that news finally arrives.

"Being prepared in that way can really help to sort of take that blow in your life and make sure that your life doesn't completely fall apart if you get bad news," she says. "You can actually embrace that moment, move forward and do so productively."

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7 Unexpected Signs of Stress
You're Hearing Sounds That No One Else Does(01 of07)
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Why it could be stress: Exactly how tinnitus is linked to stress isn't clear, but research in BMC Public Health found that people who were worried about being fired or moved to another job were more likely to report tinnitus (hearing a noise like ringing, buzzing, clicking or even hissing) or hearing loss than those who felt secure in their roles.

Other possible causes: Earwax buildup, really loud noises and age-related hearing loss. If it's happening often enough to bother you, see an ear nose and throat specialist to nail down the cause.

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You've Gone From Outspoken to Wallflower at Work(02 of07)
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Why it could be stress: Stress can make you feel impulsive (it affects brain areas that keep our behavior in check), but it can also make you feel the opposite way, triggering withdrawal and a loss of confidence that's usually most noticeable at the office, says Susan Evans, PhD, professor of psychology in clinical psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College. "You may find yourself in a meeting where you'd normally voice your opinions without hesitation, but now you're holding back because you're not sure if what you have to say makes sense," she says. A small study in Neurocase found that simply watching a stressful movie for 30 minutes (in this case, Saving Private Ryan) made it harder to complete challenging word-association tasks than viewing more lighthearted fare.

Other possible causes: You guessed it—depression. Withdrawal is a classic symptom, but usually comes with other signs like a loss of interest in your favorite activities, feelings of hopelessness or changes in appetite.

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All It Takes Is One Stranger's Sneeze and Suddenly You're Sick(03 of07)
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Why it could be stress: Your immunity takes a hit when you're stressed, research shows, leaving you less capable of fending off whatever virus is making its way through your house or office. In one study, in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, stressed-out people were twice as likely to get sick after being exposed to the common cold. The stressed folks also produced more pro-inflammatory compounds once the virus was in their systems, potentially making sniffles and sneezes worse.

Other possible causes: A consistent lack of sleep can also hamper your immune system. If you're sleeping well, not feeling stressed, but find that your sick-day tally keeps growing, ask your doctor whether a more serious issue could be to blame.

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You Have an All-or-Nothing Relationship with the Bathroom(04 of07)
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Why it could be stress: Things may stop moving because your body is diverting energy to more essential organs and systems to help you survive, says David Spiegel, MD, director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford School of Medicine. And research suggests that diarrhea may be triggered by the gut's response to a chemical called CRF that the brain releases under stress (your colon is full of CRF receptors).

Other possible causes: Backups can develop from too little fiber (women 50 and younger need 25 grams per day; 51 and up need 21 grams). As for diarrhea, non-stress-related causes include stomach viruses, contaminated food and certain medications. You could also be eating foods that just don't sit well in your stomach, like these 6 items that many people have trouble digesting.

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You're Doing Some Very Weird Things in Your Sleep(05 of07)
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Why it could be stress: It's rare, and would only happen under extreme stress, but parasomnias (abnormal events like sleepwalking, sleep eating and night terrors) due to stress, can happen, says Rajita Sinha, PhD, director of the Yale Stress Center. Blame a ramped-up, always-on-alert sympathetic nervous system. It flips on your fight-or-flight response, and in the case of incredibly stressed-out folks, it can overpower your body's calming system during sleep, leading to unusual activity, explains Spiegel. "I had one stress patient," he says, "who would get up in the middle of the night when he was traveling for work, get dressed, go down to the hotel lobby and talk to people, and have no recollection of it in the morning."

Other possible causes: Obstructive sleep apnea, medications and certain (though rare) brain disorders—your doctor can help you figure out which one is causing your sleep disturbances.

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Your Periods are Leveling You(06 of07)
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Why it could be stress: Your stressed body is pouring out chemicals that help you take action and dialing down production of those that would alleviate your distress, says Sinha. And that means you'll feel pain more acutely, including discomfort from your menstrual cycle. Women with higher levels of perceived stress reported more severe symptoms, including cramping and pain, during their periods, found one study in the Journal of Women's Health.

Other possible causes: See your doctor to rule out causes like fibroids, a copper IUD, pelvic inflammatory disease and endometriosis.

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You've Got Numbness or Tingling in Your Arms and Hands(07 of07)
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Why it could be stress: You may be holding all that tension you're feeling in your neck and shoulders, a very common problem for women, says Holly Phillips, MD, an internist in New York and a medical contributor for CBS News. With major stress, the tension can lead to compression of a particular bundle of nerves that goes into your arm, causing that numbness and tingling. "Leaning over computers and smartphones for hours a day, and being stressed out while we're doing it, can make these muscle issues worse," she explains. "Our ears should be directly over our shoulders, but with this poor posture, they're a few inches forward. It's an awkward and pain-inducing position."

Other possible causes: Carpal tunnel syndrome—it can lead to numbness and tingling, too. Any task that involves flexing your wrist over and over can cause it. Another potential but less common culprit is nerve damage. But the sources can be serious (diabetes, infections, trauma and autoimmune conditions, to name a few), so if you notice these symptoms, call your doctor and make an appointment to get checked out.

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