Even As A ‘Church Boy,’ Feeling Like An Outcast

This is an excerpt from John Fountain’s forthcoming book: “No Place For Me: Letters to the Church in America”

By John W. Fountain

The feeling of suppression at church — whether at True Vine or some of the local churches where I had been a member — hung over me constantly, like a dark cloud, my soul swirling in the wind.

For years, I wondered whether there was something wrong with me, whether I indeed really loved God. Whether I would ever find a church that accepted and embraced me the way I had seen it embrace others.

…Overall the church seemed to have devolved into a mushy feel-good experience in which we were members of the on-my-way-to-heaven social club.

It left me feeling, even as a “church boy,” like an outcast, like someone who — without the official public blessing of a bishop or even my own grandfather as being “one of us” — was forever destined to be on the outside looking in, even if I was sitting in the pew and my name on the church’s rolls.

At church, I felt like I needed a sponsor and that I never really had one…

READ MORE: ‘Feeling Like an Outcast’

Email: author@johnwfountain.com

Website: http://www.johnwfountain.com