Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My husband doesn’t see the hilarious irony that he sent our identical twins to school in matching sweatshirts that say, “Be Unique!” on the front and now I’m questioning who I married.
— Shit I tell my toddler (@Toddler_talkin) January 11, 2024
The thing about 4 year olds is no matter how tired they are, if they get an 86 second nap in a car it will be enough to fuel them for the next 48 hours.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 9, 2024
Sleep experts: Dark room, avoid caffeine, listen to white noise, no screens an hour before sleep
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) January 10, 2024
Me sitting in my bed with the light on, eating dark chocolate, hearing my 3yo roar like a dinosaur over the baby monitor, reading a 4000-reply Twitter argument: Sounds good
This whole "no smoking with kids in the vehicle" thing is ridiculous.. look at him he's just cold... pic.twitter.com/UOSumbKxa5
— Uncle MOOK 💙✨ (@itsMook989) January 9, 2024
My 4 year-old learned how to spot an EXIT sign in preschool and her teacher told her she was really good at it so now she points out EXIT signs to people everywhere we go. It’s the cutest way I’ve seen anybody tell someone it was time for them to leave.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 9, 2024
You think your kids are so mature and growing up and then you have to say something like “the bathroom is not for karate”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 7, 2024
Me: You're supposed to be in bed.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 12, 2024
11-year-old: I tried.
Me: You tried?
11: It didn't stick.
my 2yo officially has reached the milestone of climbing out of his crib. we discovered this when after bedtime, we heard his doorknob turn, and he proudly proclaimed, "hi!!!!!!!! i leave crib!!!!!!!"
— emily (@emilykmay) January 12, 2024
I’ve never committed a crime but I have changed my niece’s diaper in the public washroom while she screamed “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 10, 2024
The funny thing about having your kid in childcare is you have no idea what they know. I started signing “if you’re happy and you know it…” and it was like I unlocked a sleeper cell in my 11 month old. She suddenly sat up straight and started clapping perfectly to the song 😂
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 6, 2024
6YO said she’ll never be able to appreciate winter, cause snow on the bushes reminds her of cauliflower
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 8, 2024
My daughter is sad because one of her preschool friends hasn’t been in school because he’s on vacation. I asked where he went and she said “he’s at the place where you can’t see the fox but the fox can see you” and I dunno I just feel like I’d need a vacation from that vacation.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) January 10, 2024
My 6yo told his teacher we had no food in the house so she sent a flyer home with him for the local food bank. Go-Gurt, we had no Gogurt.
— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) January 9, 2024
My kid has started responding "but I JUST sat down" when I ask him to do something so I guess he has been listening
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 9, 2024
"I need to buy a book for school before tomorrow."
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 8, 2024
~ Kids, at 10pm Sunday night
What do you want to be when you grow up?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) January 6, 2024
other kids: firefighter, doctor, scientist…
my 9yo: I’m gonna sell my Pokémon cards on the streets of New York.
Every conversation with a child getting ready for school in the winter ends with a parent yelling, "FINE, THEN FREEZE."
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 12, 2024
how to ruin your childs entire week with 3 words:
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 11, 2024
empty the dishwasher.
Have kids so someone who’s never driven a car in their life can criticize your driving.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) January 6, 2024
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.
Before You Go
