Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

CHECKLIST:
[] Are you warm
[] Did you eat breakfast
[] Not that sugary kind, real breakfast
[] Be kind to others
[] Yes even your brother

— Cam Banks (@boymonster) January 28, 2015

"You're not the boss of me", I whisper under my breath, as I make 4 different lunches for my kids.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 28, 2015

Most of parenting is just spelling words out loud.

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) January 28, 2015

Whining doesn't make it feel better, but I'm going to keep doing it anyway because I'm not a quitter.
- my 10 year old

— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) January 26, 2015

My kids just played together for 30 minutes before a fight broke out. If you need me, I'll be on the phone with Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) January 28, 2015

4-year-old: What happens when we run out of Cheez-Its?

Me: We go to the store.

4: What if the store is out?

Me:

4:

Me: We pray.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2015

The hardest part about being a parent is pretending like you know what you're doing.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 30, 2015

My 4yo can't remember what snack was at school today, but he can repeat word for word everything I said about you on the phone 6 weeks ago.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 29, 2015

At what age do kids go from asking you for answers to everything to knowing everything themselves?

— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) January 29, 2015

I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel.

Dad, we're right in front of you

Uh..... go ask your mom.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 26, 2015

Found out my son has been wearing the same socks and underwear for three days. Glad he's going green.

— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) January 29, 2015

Anyone who says family dinner is the root of healthy development in kids has clearly never tried feeding mine. #misery #stress #hysterics

— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) January 26, 2015

Since Boston got all our snow, can they take all our kids who are off school?

— Kristen Chase (@thatkristen) January 27, 2015

Why all the bitching about the snow day? We've already played Legos, playdough, watercolored, read books...OH GOD IT'S NOT EVEN 9AM HELLLLP

— Amy Shearn (@amyshearn) January 27, 2015

Let's take a moment of silence for all who are home w/kids during #Snowmageddon Let us pray Red Cross gives free alcohol to those in need.

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) January 26, 2015

I love the "work at home" option on snow days. 6yo plays the boss, 7 portrays the annoying guy in the next cubicle, & 14 is the lazy intern.

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) January 27, 2015

The start of the kids' bedtime is like a Thursday at work: excitement that freedom is near, but plenty of work to do before it's official.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 30, 2015

ParentNormal Science: Did you know that when a pacifier falls in the dark it disappears forever?

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 25, 2015

Sleep is overrated and unnecessary.-Kids

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) January 30, 2015