Gwyneth Paltrow is pulling back the curtain (thread count higher than you could ever imagine, eco-dyed with crushed truffles, probably) on how she co-parents with ex-husband Chris Martin.
While the “consciously uncoupled” duo may seem like they’ve got it all figured out, Paltrow said it’s a struggle to be on the same page after a divorce ― no matter how evolved their relationship may seem.
“It’s like you’re ending a marriage, but you’re still in a family. That’s how it will be forever,” Paltrow said on “The Drew Barrymore Show” on Wednesday. “Some days it’s not as good as it looks. We also have good days and bad days, but I think it’s driving towards the same purpose of unity and love and what’s best for” the kids.
The actor and the Coldplay lead singer announced their split in 2014 after 10 years of marriage, with their divorce finalized two years later. Together they share son Moses, 14, and daughter Apple, 16.
Paltrow said that in order to move on from the pain of her marriage ending, she had to confront the idea that “just because we break up we can’t love the things about the person anymore.”
“You are also holding the other person in this sphere of humanity,” the Oscar winner continued, noting that both she and Martin committed to radical accountability and responsibility-sharing in their relationship.
But their guiding principle as parents was prioritizing the needs of their children.
“I really wanted my kids to not be traumatized, if it were possible. Chris and I committed to putting them first and that’s harder than it looks because some days you really don’t want to be with the person that you are getting divorced from,” Paltrow explained. “But if you’re committed to having family dinner, then you do it.”
“And you take a deep breath and you look the person in the eye and you remember your pact and you smile and you hug ... and recommit to this new relationship that you are trying to foster,” she continued.
As for why Paltrow and Martin split in the first place, the Goop founder previously revealed that they ”never fully settled into being a couple” and that she always felt “a bit of unease and unrest” in their marriage.
The turning point came during Paltrow’s 38th birthday celebration in Tuscany, Italy.
“I don’t recall when it happened, exactly. I don’t remember which day of the weekend it was or the time of day,” she wrote in an essay for British Vogue in August. “But I knew — despite long walks and longer lie-ins, big glasses of Barolo and hands held — my marriage was over.”
The two couples frequently go on double dates, travel together and celebrate holidays as one big, blended family, with Paltrow sharing sweet snaps of their adventures together on Instagram.
In March, she posted a photo of a family ski trip in honor of Martin’s birthday, writing, “Happy Birthday to this hilarious, joy seeking, musical genius who gave me that guy in the middle there (and apple, too). We 💝you.”