No matter how you define marriage, there are certain universal experiences that will sound familiar to husbands and wives across the board.
Below, 19 hilariously relatable tweets about married life.
me: honey you need to embrace your flaws— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) August 16, 2017
wife: ok [hugs me]
(car dealer)— Timmy™ (@TheTimmyToes) March 7, 2015
is the passenger seat also heated?
"Aww for ur wife?"
*imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru*
*tosses bath towel on hotel floor*— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) August 2, 2017
[text from wife at home]
"Pick that up."
Some things in life are inevitable. Birth. Death. My husband storing everything he owns in a massive pile next to his side of the bed.— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) August 2, 2017
*pours wife a glass of wine*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) July 9, 2017
- me, helping her make dinner
Every marriage goes from “I'd love to know what you're thinking” to “You don’t want to know what I’m thinking.” Don’t worry, that’s normal.— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) August 13, 2017
Me: I had a dream that we got in a big fight.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) August 12, 2017
Wife: Who won?
Wife: Yup. Definitely a dream.
ME: Do you believe in ghosts?— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) August 15, 2017
ME: A ghost just spent $600 on a new home surround sound system.
You know it's love when your husband checks the conditions of the port-a-pots for you before you go in.— 🐾Suds o' Bitches🐾 (@SudsBitches) August 2, 2017
I miss the days when my wife didn't even know what a farmhouse sink was.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 11, 2017
I asked my husband to put fresh towels in the guest bathroom, and he hung them tag side out, a suburban horror story.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 6, 2017
My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 28, 2017
Forgot to use a coupon my wife gave me so now I have to hide it like it's a dead body.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 22, 2017
me: Ow— Josh (@iwearaonesie) July 29, 2017
wife: The waitress said the plate was hot why the hell do you keep touching it?
Stop laughing at your phone. It's Annoying.— Jennifer Farrar (@jennfarrar7) August 6, 2017
Not to brag but my wife bought toothpaste because she thought it was almost empty and I squeezed out paste for two more months.— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) August 5, 2017
A fun thing to do at Home Depot is ride the flatbed like a scooter to get my husband back for acting up when we're at TJMaxx.— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) April 28, 2017
Wife: *tells me to do the thing*— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) August 1, 2017
Me: You don’t have to keep reminding me. I’m not a child.
*forgets to do the thing*
Some couples sext when they're apart. I just sent my husband a picture of a weird looking mole on my boob.— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) August 15, 2017