Sometimes people make the assumption that my life is totally glamorous and exciting and whatever.
And while I do get to do a lot of cool stuff these days, I'm still a teenage girl and I go through the same stuff that all teenage girls go through. I have the same hopes and dreams, and I have good times and not-so-good times.
For example: homecoming 2011. Which happened to be my first homecoming, and one I was really looking forward to going to, but I didn't go, because I didn't get asked. So I stayed home while everyone else was at the dance because, lol, nobody loves me.
Well, okay, I guess I did get asked... In fact, I got asked a couple times. But, you know, they just didn't count. Here's what happened:
One boy asked me three times in the same day; and I know it sounds like I'm a terrible person cuz I said no three times, but let me explain.
So I'm talking with my friend and he tells me that he asked someone to homecoming. And so obviously I ask if she said yes, and he tells me that she said no. So I kind of felt bad and whatnot, but I was like, "Maybe he'll just be dateless like me." Keep in mind, this kid is my friend and I feel like it'd be weird if we went together, so the thought didn't even cross my mind. So he asks me if I'm going, and I'm like, "Not as far as I know; nobody's asked me." And he goes "Oh well, do you want to go with me?"
Wait, so I'm your backup plan?!
So I politely said no and went on my merry way. Then after school, he comes up to me again and is like, "Why don't you want to go with me? Benni, Benni! Why won't you go with me, huh?" And in my head I'm just like, If I said yes right now and we grow up and fall in love and end up getting married, this is a terrible first date story. haha.
But that's not the reason I said no. Like I said, we are just very good friends and I thought it would be a little weird to go together. But I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I told him that I didn't know if I even wanted to go, and so on. Then he asks a junior (we're freshman) three days later and she says yes.
Awesome.
Then a week and a half before the dance we were having this small party at our house and I was hanging out with this one kid who tells me this really cute way of asking someone to homecoming. And he says to me, "Okay, if I asked you like this, would you say yes?" And I said yes. So obviously, that's like a big sign saying, "HEY I'M GUNNA ASK YOU."
Or so I thought.
Then later on during the party, he comes into the living room where I'm watching TV with some other people and goes, "Hey Benni, wanna go to homecoming?" And I didn't hear him, so I go "What?" And all the kids in the room start yelling at me "Say no! Say no!" So I was like "Um... No?" and they all bust up laughing and I'm just like, "What happened?" Then the kid who asked me walks away saying, "Okay," and goes to the other room.
Later I asked him what happened and he told me he was joking, so that one also didn't count.
Awesome.
Okay, so, to recap: The first time I get asked, I'm someone's back-up plan. The second time, it's like a big joke or something, I'm still not sure.
Either way, not exactly what I had in mind. I mean, I wasn't asking for a prince with white horses and a carriage to come whisk me away. But I kind of was.
Which is why, when homecoming night came, and my brother left to go with his girlfriend, I went to see a movie with my parents.
And it was... Awesome.
I know that's really cheesy and weird, but it's true! First of all, I didn't have to worry that any of my friends would see me there with my parents because they were all busy dancing at school.
The weird thing is that it turned out to be a really a good night. I got to spend the evening with my favorite people on the planet: my family. I'm not saying that I'm glad I didn't get asked properly, because I mean, obviously I wanted to go or I wouldn't be writing about it. But I ended up fine with the fact that nobody loves me.
Ahaha, I'm just kidding.
All in all, I learned something. When I didn't get asked, I felt bad. I felt like, why are all these girls getting asked and not me? What makes them better than me? Am I not pretty enough? Pretty much every question every girl asks herself at my age was running through my brain on repeat.
But then, after the movie, sitting warm on my couch eating ice cream with my family, I realized it's OK if you're not asked. It doesn't mean you aren't pretty; and it doesn't mean nobody likes you, or you aren't worthy.
It just means that, for some reason, things just didn't work out this time.
But, you know what? The next dance is Sadie Hawkins and I'll be doing the asking, so I'm guaranteed to have a date!
Well, unless they all say no.
In which case, I already have a backup plan: I'll stay home and eat ice cream and watch Titanic and cry with my mom and it will be... Awesome! ♥