The debate is on.
The most boring man in the world walks in.
"Bill wanted to go to Boston but Andy says that Jean will never agree and Jean gets her way when she doesn't agree with Bill, so Andy says that Bill said, Philly was a good spot to see old buildings and stuff and that was where America first rang the bell, but Jean said that bells reminded her of mother's funeral and she has never gotten over that, for Jack said that he deserved at least 50% of mom's estate and he got less so the lawyer got involved and then there was..."
...the sound of a butterfly being crushed by a truck.
I stare at the Republicans on TV. The sound mute. The most boring man in the world drones on ... "Andy forgot to get the right paint for the garage door and Jean said he should try another color..." Trump looks yellowish.
"...and Bill told Jean to stop at Home Depot to pick up fertilizer for the yard..." Bush looks constipated.
"...and at the barbecue Andy stuck a fork in a sausage..." and I think of Ted Cruz.
The Bill of Wrongs, the freedom to bore and I switch the channel, and the Kardashians appear and I read their lips and watch their hips like in a silent movie. Free from drones, a peaceful world, for speech is overrated, whence ...
"SHUT THE F*** UP!" I scream at the most boring man in the world. "I'm watching the Kardashians in silence."
".and the Kardashians live in Los Angeles according to Andy but Jean says that they live in..."
How to vote
Vote-by-mail ballot request deadline: Varies by state
For the Nov 3 election: States are making it easier for citizens to vote absentee by mail this year due to the coronavirus. Each state has its own rules for mail-in absentee voting. Visit your state election office website to find out if you can vote by mail.Get more information
In-person early voting dates: Varies by state
Sometimes circumstances make it hard or impossible for you to vote on Election Day. But your state may let you vote during a designated early voting period. You don't need an excuse to vote early. Visit your state election office website to find out whether they offer early voting.My Election Office
General Election: Nov 3, 2020
Polling hours on Election Day: Varies by state/localityMy Polling Place