Phelps's Sponsors Supportive: "You Can't Buy This Kind of Product Placement"

Olympian Michael Phelps, under fire for a college party photo showing him taking a bong-hit, was supported by his sponsors who vowed to not only stand by the American gold medalist swimmer, but to include the photo in future advertisements. "You can't buy this kind of product placement -- believe me, we've tried!" a spokesman for Omega Watches said, giddily. "He's modeling one of our blinged-out products as he expertly removes the carb from the bong, which we will also be selling replicas of: The Poseidon, as we are proudly calling it, holds actual water, just like what Michael Phelps swims in!"

Contrary to the negative backlash which advertisers used to go through to keep imaginary customers happy, Phelps's sponsors are proactive, seizing on Phelps' snapshot as a way to re-market a guy the country already loves, only now with 10% more bad boy included. "Girls love a bad boy!" the Power Bar communications director stated. "And everyone likes getting 10% more of something for free."

In fact, while marijuana is widely accepted and legally available is several states, advertisers fear they are missing the market, as teenage use of marijuana continues to fall. Perhaps to secure this declining demographic, Phelps's agent has already booked a college circuit tour for Phelps this Spring Break.

The International Olympic Committee does not normally list marijuana as a performance-enhancing drug, unless the athletic event involves creative skills such as writing, music, or art. In response to the outcry over a top athlete using drugs, many of Phelps' previous competitors were surprisingly accepting of his drug use. "It's no problem, really. He can get so baked he can't unplug from 'Family Guy' next time we have a swim meet, I don't mind."