Princess Diana’s Unexpected Legacy

I remember exactly where I was 20 years ago – and how I felt – when I heard the shocking news that Princess Diana had died. It was so horribly sad – such a senseless loss. Indeed, it seemed that the entire world grieved. We didn’t really know her – but so many loved her.

I remember feeling anguish for her two young sons. I was a young mother myself at the time and the thought of leaving my daughter when she still needed me so very much was almost unbearable. I can only imagine the pain that fifteen-year-old Prince William and twelve-year-old Prince Harry experienced – losing their mother in such a traumatic way …. And having to share such an overwhelming loss with the world.

So much has been written about the Princess – about the challenges she faced during her courtship and marriage to Prince Charles as well as her personal struggles with anxiety and bulimia. Like so many others who live in the public eye, we knew far more about her than we needed to know… or had any right to know. And like so many other celebrities, our relentless curiosity – fueled in part by our adoration – was a burden to her and for her children. While she may have thought she knew what she was signing up for when she agreed to marry Prince Charles, there is no way a twenty-year-old young woman who didn’t come from that type of celebrity could have possibly been prepared for that particular reality. Even after she died we continued to be fascinated by and hungry for any bit of information about the life she led.

There is so much to admire about how Princess Diana did lead her life. By all accounts she was a loving, gracious and generous human being who adored her children. Perhaps one of her most appealing – and admirable – characteristics was her kindness toward those less fortunate. As we watched her mature over the years, she seemed to transcend her own challenges and struggles to devote more time and energy to focus on the needs of others. She could have easily stayed behind the palace walls – protected from public scrutiny and the overwhelming needs of the world. She chose instead to use her voice and her platform to help those who were suffering the most. And while she is remembered for her devotion to all of the causes she supported, it is important to note that she regularly stepped up and become the champion for people affected by what were unpopular causes at the time. It was Diana’s compassion that helped us see the pain and suffering of those dealing with HIV/AIDS, those afflicted by leprosy and those whose lives had been devastated by landmines. Princess Diana was not afraid to speak out and show her support for those marginalized by society. Instead, she became actively involved in highlighting their plight.

It is fitting and – and inspiring – that Princess Diana’s sons have become champions for another global issue that is desperately in need of attention. Mental health conditions remain poorly understood and yet one in four people in the world will be affected by mental health disorders at some point in their lives. The World Health Organization reports that 450M people currently suffer from such conditions, placing mental health disorders among the leading causes of ill-health and disability worldwide. Unaddressed mental health concerns lead to tremendous emotional suffering and contribute significantly to serious societal problems including unemployment, poverty, homelessness, substance abuse, crime, incarceration, domestic violence and suicide.

What is perhaps even more impressive and admirable is that Prince William and Prince Harry are talking openly about their own emotional pain – and mental health challenges – in order to champion this important cause. Several years ago, Prince Harry began talking about the trauma he experienced as a result of his service in the military – flying helicopters that carried wounded and dying soldiers from the battlefield in Afghanistan. He became – and continues to be – an outspoken champion for those who serve and their families – underscoring the importance of talking openly about mental health and the need to seek care. In 2016 he agreed to serve as a spokesperson for the Campaign to Change Direction® – which my organization is proud to lead. The Campaign to Change Direction is a public health effort that focuses on changing the culture of mental health so that all in need can seek and receive the care that they deserve. Two engaging and compelling videos featuring Prince Harry can be viewed here.

Both Prince William and Prince Harry have spoken honestly and eloquently about the trauma of losing their mother and the emotional devastation they faced. In one especially poignant interview, they spoke of the guilt they felt about the last conversation they had with their mother by phone the day that she died. Of course, they had no way of knowing that this call was the last they would ever have with their beloved mother. They were only 15 and 12 at the time and of course were more interested in getting back to the activities of the day then lingering on the phone with the Princess ….. and yet they each reported feeling such regret and guilt for what was or wasn’t said that day. As a mother and a child psychologist, reading this account left me feeling great sadness for these young men – as it seemed that few around them knew about the guilt they carried. I suspect that even fewer knew how to relieve them of this unnecessary burden. Indeed, this is an example of why we all need to do a better job of understanding and talking about the emotional pain and suffering that is part of all of our lives.

It is also remarkable – and wonderful – that Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, has joined her husband Prince William and her brother-in-law Prince Harry with equal enthusiasm to address the unmet mental health needs that affect so many. The Duchess cares deeply about the mental health issues that affect children – and has done much already to raise awareness and provide support for those in need and those who are working in this area. She too has shared her personal investment in changing how we address mental health – focusing specifically on wanting to ensure that all children – including her own – feel comfortable and safe to seek mental health care should they ever need to do so. In February 2016, HRH the Duchess of Cambridge took over the Huffington Post as an editor to write about her passion. She shared articles and information from other champions in this space including First Lady Michelle Obama and gained international attention that helped set the stage for the launch of the Royal Foundation’s Heads Together initiative focused on raising awareness of mental health concerns in the UK.

As a mental health professional who has devoted my career to caring for those who suffer emotionally, I am so grateful that Prince Harry, Prince William and Princess Kate have chosen to shine a powerful light on the pain caused by unaddressed mental health conditions. Perhaps one day we will all value and care for our mental health in the same way that we value and care for our physical health. As the founder and president of Give an Hour℠, the United States based non profit organization that I began in 2005 that has provided over $23M worth of free mental health care to those who serve and their families, I am proud to continue to expand our efforts to serve other populations in need – because we cannot change the culture if we don’t ensure access to care for all who are in pain. And as a daughter whose mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia soon after I was born, I am committed to continuing the work of identifying more effective treatments and cures for mental health conditions that destroy lives and devastate families.

I have no doubt that Princess Diana intended for her sons to be fine human beings and champions for good in the world. I can only imagine how proud she would be of the men that they have become and the impact that they are having – and will continue to have – as we finally remove the barriers that prevent all of us from speaking openly and honestly about the emotional and mental health challenges that affect us and those we love.