Teach Kids to Increase Their Odds
Research shows that one of the factors that sets lucky people apart from the unlucky is how they "create, notice, and act upon the chance opportunities in their lives," writes Wiseman. There are three key ways we can increase our odds that something lucky will happen to us, and we can teach them all to our kids.
1. Teach Kids to Make New Friends and Keep the Old.
For starters, lucky people have and maintain a lot of social connections. Most of our lucky opportunities come from other people; it follows that the more people we meet and interact with, the more "luck" we'll have. Here is what lucky people do:
All of these things increase the odds that our kids will meet more people, which in turn increase the odds that they will have a lucky chance encounter.
2) Teach Kids to be Open to New Experiences in Life
Lucky people love new things: people, experiences, food, ways of doing things. As every parent with a picky eater knows, kids often crave routine and sameness. But when we introduce variety and change into our routines, we increase the number of chance opportunities in our lives.
We can teach kids to cope with—and eventually embrace—change by teaching them optimism and mindfulness. Fostering their creativity will also help them build this important skill. In today's ever-changing world, clearly the ability to make the most of change is a skill that will serve kids on many fronts!
3) Teach Kids to Relax
It turns out that going through life "happy-go-lucky—in a relaxed, easygoing manner—not only makes us happier, but it makes us luckier. Being relaxed helps us be attuned to opportunities around us.
On the other hand, stress makes us inattentive and unobservant. People who are made anxious in experiments become less able to spot details, even those that are right in front of their noses. When we are relaxed, we are more likely to notice when a lucky opportunity comes our way. My dad has amazing "parking karma"—there always seems to be a parking spot waiting for him right out front. Always. His relaxed nature probably explains this: It isn't that the universe provides him with better parking than others, but that he is relaxed enough to notice it.
In today's fast-paced world, it may prove hard to teach kids to be relaxed, especially if we aren't modeling relaxed behavior ourselves. Use this as an excuse to slow down and practice mindfulness, and teach it to your kids as well.
Thank you for all of your great comments recently! Please let us know how teaching luck is going for you and your children!
Christine Carter, Ph.D., is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, whose mission it is to teach skills for a thriving, resilient and compassionate society. Best known for her science-based parenting advice, Dr. Carter follows the scientific literature in neuroscience, sociology, and psychology to understand ways that we can teach children skills for happiness, emotional intelligence, and resilience. She is the author of the new book Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents and of a blog called Half Full. Dr. Carter also has a private consulting practice helping families and schools structure children's lives for happiness; she lives near San Francisco with her family.
Reference:
Wiseman, Richard (2003). The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles. Hyperion: New York.