The Final Goodbye

"I'm saying goodbye once and for all. I'm turning tables. It's your turn to fall. I thought you were my friend from the very beginning, but your friendship has no meaning. I thought without you in my life I would never feel whole. You were my best friend. We were inseparable. I trusted you with all of my heart. I laid my life in your hands and you tore it all apart. You put up a front and you were a fake all along. You led me to believe you would do me no wrong. You promised me all my problems would leave. I was an innocent child, who was I to believe. After all these years you've done nothing but drag me down and stir up my emotions... this was all I found. You got me addicted, you brainwashed me. You blinded me so I couldn't see. Now my life is a mess and you are to blame, when I introduced you to my life is when all the problems came. You've hurt not only me but my children and family as well. It's your way of saying Satan's lonely in hell. I was depressed and angry and in denial. You got the best of me for a little while. Now it's my time to seek revenge. Our relationship is over, there are no second chances. Goodbye forever. I know your plan, you're going to try to be clever. As soon as that fails you will try to be sly. But God is by my side for the final goodbye."

This is a real story from a 20-year-old mother of two children; a 17-month-old daughter, a seven-month-old son and pregnant with her third child who recently entered treatment after losing both children to child protective services. She was raised on the island of Molokaʻi in a very rural area and began using drugs at the age of 18. Today she has been clean and sober for four months, however, she continues to express the struggles of sobriety, rebuilding her family, and taking care of her deep-seeded abuse issues.

Being someone in recovery is not always easy, however, being a mother in recovery brings a whole new cluster of challenges. Mothers in recovery struggle with many challenges. They are working to overcome their addiction, often facing their own physical or emotional abuse issues, sometimes going through several failed attempts to reclaim their lives, and trying to rebuild families in the aftermath of addiction. The topic of addicted mothers is often a taboo subject and often not discussed openly at the dinner table. Bringing awareness to this issue means talking about the reality of addiction and shedding some light on the success stories of mothers overcoming their addiction.

Did you know that addiction in pregnancy occurs more often then we think it does?

  • In 2013, 5.4 percent of pregnant women aged 15 to 44 in the United States were current illicit drug users.
  • Another study showed that every hour a baby is born in the United States with symptoms of withdrawal from opiates -- roughly 13,500 babies a year.
  • According to Hawaii Pregnancy Risk Assessment Monitoring System (PRAMS) and the Perinatal Substance Use Fact Sheet, prior to pregnancy, about 20 percent of women reported smoking, 47 percent reported drinking, and 6 percent of women reported using illicit drugs
  • During pregnancy, 9 percent of women smoked, 6 percent drink alcohol, and 3 percent used illicit drugs
  • Risks related to substance use during pregnancy include having an unintended pregnancy, receiving late or no prenatal care, and delivering a low birth weight infant

Motherhood has the power to bring forward an incredibly vast array of wonderful gifts that creates life, sustains growth, nurtures potential, and committedly loves unconditionally. Motherhood is the gift that moms can give to themselves, to their children and to the world at large.

Addiction is a major stumbling block that keeps the generous gift of Motherhood from flowing freely and uplifting life. If you are a Mom and addicted to drugs, there are so many positive resources for you. Reach out to someone, ask for help, and live your life as fully and meaningfully as possible.