The drinks are flowing at Gibson's, like always, and everyone's hating on Kevin. Pete's feeling really pleased with himself, not only for having his prank with Andre's cat go swimmingly, but also because he's renamed his team "The Shitheads," in light of last week's frozen poo debacle. Kevin's ego is super bruised after literally having his wife's crap on his face and it's only about to get worse. His father-in-law is comin' to town.
Andre runs into Russell at Gibson's and the two are rude to the bartender because he can't seem to say "Cabernet Sauvignon" correctly. I can't say I particularly blame them for doing so but the bartender was so not having it so he kicks the two out. As such, this is catalyst behind Andre and Russell's newest joint venture: a wine bar. We already knew Russell was a nymphomaniac-cum-sommelier but I'm DYING to see Andre's new doctor-cum-fashionisto-cum-sommelier persona come to light. Let the Riesling flow!
Jenny's dad Bruce is a big, bald bully and he comes into town to pick on Kevin with guns a-blazing. He worships his daughter, naturally, but thinks Kevin -- and the rest of the gang -- are all "ninnies." I just want to point out that I hate the word "ninny." It's awful and sounds like something a third grader raised only by octogenarians would use as an insult. Moving on, Bruce is persistent in his widespread emasculation of the entire group and Kevin attempts to stand up for himself. This backfires when Bruce says the only way to prove that they're all not "ninnies" is to go hunting with him in "man land."
The group - sans Andre - has suited up in their best rustic/camp attire and traveled with Bruce up to "man land." Their journey begins with a leisurely hike to the camp ground where we learn Ruxin was a boy scout, a factoid that quickly earns him Bruce's respect much to Ruxin's chagrin. Rafi randomly appears in a bush because he's been tracking Kevin, another thing that earns Bruce's respect. Rafi and Bruce tap guns in a bizarre "man land" equivalent to a high five. The men arrive at the grounds and set up their respective tents, a sight that looks extremely sad when you realize that grown men were in charge. Kevin's freaking out about the lack of cell service, Ruxin can only remember how to tie a windsor knot, and Rafi's eating bear poop nuggets. Bruce says they can all go to a bar later and that seems to cheer everyone up. Except for Rafi, who was and still is content with his "snacks."
Back at home, Jenny has her real estate hat on and is wine bar shopping with Andre and Russell. They love the first place Jenny shows them and are extremely excited to sign the docs to get the wine flowin'. "Menage A Cinq" is the prospective name of the bar and I'm honestly surprised that Jenny is surprised that they would name their bar "The Fiveway." It's more than fitting.
At the bar in "man land," Kevin's jazzed about the wifi situation and the boys make moves to set their lineups for the week. In yet another argument about Pete's team "The Shitheads," things escalate veeeeeeery quickly. Pete and Kevin start yelling about the Redskins, which causes an angry Native American man sitting at the bar to intervene. This new argument is made worse by a poorly crafted "rights of passage" speech by Bruce, then by Ruxin, and lastly by Taco. Everyone makes a break for it when the Native American man pulls a knife and Bruce shoots a gun in a strange "Anchorman"-esque showdown. They run into the woods, unsure of where to go or what to do.
Andre and Jenny are having a wine night at the McArthur house in celebration of Menage A Cinq. Jenny is less than thrilled about Andre's desire to have girl talk. He vents his frustrations about Milady and Russell. He also questions Jenny on her interest in sodomizing Kevin. Annoyed and disgusted, Jenny gives Andre advice and even helps him approve a trade with Russell. Aw, you girls keep me young.
The guys are freezing in the woods and you'd think they were in "Angela's Ashes" with how they're acting. Bruce says they should huddle for warmth and Kevin's continuing to be a little bitch about everything. Rafi's being extra disgusting this episode, in addition to his shit-eating, and offers to give Kevin a "mouthful of not-milk" before bed. Oh okay, Rafi, that's an okay thing to say. After SOMEHOW making it through the night, Ruxin ties up Pete to his own shoelaces and no one knows where Kevin is. Taco spots a massive bear making its way towards the group and no one knows what the hell to do to fend it off. Out of nowhere, Kevin appears and screams and flails in front of the bear. He effectively scares the bear off and wins the approval of Bruce. Hurray for Brian!
Unfortunately, the gang is still lost and doesn't know how to get back to the truck. Fortunately, Taco is still an idiot and is the group's personal Hansel because he's left a trail of coins behind him wherever he's traveled. They follow the coin path to the highway and are met by a passing car that happens to have the Native Americans they fought at the bar the night before. The Native Americans agree to not hurt the guys as long as they drop all Redskin players from their lineups. Ooof. Right in the jugular.
Andre and Russell are signing the closing papers for their wine bar, despite the fact that Russell is basically doing nothing to provide for it. Jenny half-heartedly attempts to get Andre to realize this partnership is uneven but to no avail. Andre almost pulls out of the closure when he realizes his trade with Russell this week was a terrible decision. Russell doesn't even bother trying to defend himself but he doesn't particularly need to when Andre sees all the dropped Redskin players on the waiver wire. Andre's lineup is saved and the closing papers are signed.
Kevin and Bruce return from "man land" and head to the McArthur household. They greet Jenny as new friends and Jenny is taken aback by Kevin's new manliness. Bruce expresses his approval for Kevin and Kevin takes the opportunity to scoop Jenny up and carry her into the house. Sexy time is clearly about to go down but not before Kevin breaks the fourth wall and addresses himself to the camera as Brian. And, I have to say, Brian is definitely sexier.
THINGS TO NOTE:
Keep up with "The League" recaps here every week. "The League" airs on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FXX.