Hell on earth is arguably having to use the public bathroom at work: “Oh, great,” you think as you pass your otherwise lovely coworker, Jenn, in the office bathroom. “She’s absolutely destroyed the middle stall and now I have to walk by her and smile. Kill me now.”
We feel your pain. Below, we’ve rounded up 26 tweets that speak to just how appalling it can be to use the bathroom at work.
Wow, the office bathroom smells like that person needs to be fired immediately.— Matt (@Stap_Jr) July 4, 2018
I'd rather have to decipher life saving instructions from Charlie Brown's teacher than hear you whistle/sing in the office restroom.— participation trophy wife (@rita_mayohater) November 21, 2013
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who brush their teeth in the office bathroom, and those who are not deranged.— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) February 2, 2017
Nothing like a warm toilet seat in the office bathroom to remind us all that you are no different than the person that sat before you.— Ken Napzok (@KenNapzok) July 8, 2016
Props to whoever nuked the office bathroom yesterday because the fallout is still making my eyes water 24 hours later— Hunter Hughes 🔜 Pax Acoustic (@dookieshed) October 27, 2017
I’m in a Cold War with some stranger in my office bathroom over who can sit longest in a stall waiting for the other person to leave so they can finally shit. I loathe her, but dammit I respect her.— maggie mull (@infinitesimull) October 12, 2018
Open the door to the office bathroom, there's a guy at the urinal, and he TURNS AROUND TO LOOK AT ME when I walk in. That's not how men's bathroom etiquette works at all.— Cranberry Bonds (@BostonJerry) November 16, 2017
I’ve seen so many gross things happen in an office bathroom that I’m surprise nobody has tried to arc piss over me into the urinal while I’m using it— big baby boy (@trillballins) February 1, 2018
Some old guy is in our office bathroom brushing his teeth while pooping.— Rob Fox III (@RobFoxThree) February 15, 2018
Top 5 least favorite combinations of sounds I’ve ever heard/mental images I’ve ever had.
Eye contact in the office bathroom should be punishable by death.— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) March 12, 2015
Never sure what to do when the cleaning guy is in the office bathroom. Walk out? Act like he’s not there? Try to get his attention and smile?— Aelfred The Great (@aelfred_D) June 14, 2018
Peeing your pants while saying nothing and maintaining eye contact is not the way to go, I tell you what.
Im the victim of an office bathroom power move. My guy used both air dryers to dry his hands while I just stood there like a wet handed fool— Heyzeus Chipotle (@jonny_is_good) October 12, 2017
Hello 999 I'd like to report a crime yes a grown woman just sprayed Tommy Girl perfume in the office bathroom how soon can you get here— Keira Gilleechi (@gilleechi) July 18, 2018
*reports the lighting in the office bathroom as abusive*— Kung Fu Kanga (@_little_old_me) November 12, 2018
Someone stole half the soap from our office bathroom.— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) November 15, 2018
Liquid soap. From the bottle.
We have no leads. Apparently they made a clean getaway.
Toilet handle in the office bathroom was wet when I flushed so I guess this is goodbye.— Jandalize (@Jandalize) January 6, 2017
Girls who talk on the phone while they pee. In the office bathroom. To someone who isn't their mother.— Andrea Lavinthal (@andilavs) September 15, 2015
Someone in the office bathroom was cutting their nails in one of the stalls. Whoever you are, I deeply question your life choices.— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) August 27, 2015
I've been in the office bathroom so long now that I think it's too embarrassing to ever leave. This is my home now. Welcome.— Leah Loves (@leahlovescheez) July 9, 2015
Apparently none of my coworkers have ever seen a man carry a Squatty Potty into an office restroom.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 6, 2017
can you imagine being so self-involved you stand in the office bathroom for 10 minutes applying lipliner while at least two people are in there trying to poop— Tess Koman (@tessie_the_mess) July 16, 2018
There's a guy eating in the office bathroom, which is cool because I didn't need to eat today or any day for the rest of my life.— Spencer Robinson (@13spencer) October 10, 2014
How many times can you flush in the office restroom without letting on that you're trying to get rid of skid marks? Five? Please say five.— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) June 9, 2017
This one's too messy.— TealBlueJay (@tealbluejay) December 11, 2013
This one's too smelly.
This one's just... barely clean enough.
~Goldilocks in the office restroom.