Bill Clinton, former president and current guy bidding to be America’s first First Gentleman, is turning 70 on Friday. He’s had a pretty fortunate life in terms of possessions — heck, he even had the nuclear codes once. So, aside from the reanimated corpse of Socks the cat, what could you possibly get the supportive husband of Hillary Clinton for this joyous occasion?
First, we must examine what not to get Bill. The answer: saxophones.
Saxophones are the Bill Clinton version of a writer receiving a journal (”You know, to write in!”) or a chef receiving crappy IKEA pots (”You know, to make food with!”) as a gift. Once the world realized they had a saxophone-playing politician on their hands, they went wild.
Trust: Bill has received many saxophones over the years. He’s even regifted some of them to his own museum. If that’s not a cry for help, we don’t know what is.