"cats have the right idea: wake up and scream your little face off until the world gives you what you need"
"I am NOT paying 5k for a dog unless it’s Brian griffin"
“Nothing says ‘divider’ instead of ‘uniter’ more than a former president with a ‘revenge state,'" Meyers said.
"Shoutout to cats who get their claw stuck and then get pissed that you helped them."
Hart and Dave Chappelle surprised Rock onstage with a live tribute at New York's Madison Square Garden.
“Trump watched everything that happened on Jan. 6 and his biggest problem is that Mike Pence let him down — by, I guess, not being hanged."
“you ever bring ur pet up to a mirror and ur like ‘that's you’"
"I love a talkative cat. Yeah that's right my little meow meow tell me about ur day."
"respectfully, f**k fireworks. my dog told me to tweet that."
"cat: [enjoying being petted] wait a minute I just realized I hate this"