COMEDY

9 Reasons Your Mom, Our Mom, Everyone's Mom Is A F--king Saint

Yes, it's another "Reasons" list, but OMG it's your own mother, for crying out loud.

Listen, if we knew what our mothers went through having us and raising us, we might opt to have not been born at all, or at least would nominate her for sainthood. Because your mom is a f--king saint. I mean, think about how much of a pain you are as an adult. Now imagine that as a child. Jeesh.

Take the time to peruse this list, and then call your mom and apologize. For everything.

Have you seen yourself eat? Good lord, it's like getting too close to a wood chipper. And food is expensive as hell. But your mom did her darndest to get it to the table for you everyday.

Do you have any idea how much it cost to clothe you? And you threw those nice clothes on the floor and wore what you wanted.

Getting you through school was a pain in the a--. But they found a way to get you there, and the first day of school after the summer was a well-deserved break for her.

But her breaks didn't last long. Holy sh-t, do you remember teenage you? Enough said.

And do you listen to anyone nowadays? Imagine yourself as a snot-nosed kid. Like when your mom asked you to mow the lawn?

Smell your laundry once, and get back to us. Exactly.

She balanced her own awesomeness with the goal of making your life more awesome. Skills that pay the bills.

Your mom gave up dreams and freedoms for you. She wanted to be a photographer, but instead settled for your poorly composed crayon drawings hanging up around her house. That was a pretty sweet horse though. At least she said it was.

Finally, your mom loves you despite the fact that you are you. This can't be stressed enough: you are a deeply flawed individual -- we all are. And your mother loves you regardless of that, without condition, always helping to push you to that next level. Sometimes literally.

CALL POPE FRANCIS AND THEN COMMISSION A STATUE OF THIS WOMAN IMMEDIATELY.