THE BLOG

Are You Guilty of Financial Infidelity?

I'm sure you and your spouse work hard for the things you have and to go behind one another's back and keep secrets about your money or spend money without your spouse knowing breeds an environment that can be destructive to a marriage.
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Imagine being in a relationship where you have given your all. You have sacrificed your time, your needs, and your wants. You have put aside your pleasures all to please your spouse and take care of your family. Then suddenly, you find out that the one you love, the one you have given your all to has been fooling around behind your back. That's right, you've unearthed some skeletons that you never imagined you would find. After having the wind knocked out of you, you feel breathless, helpless, deceived and heartbroken. You want to know how your love could betray you like this. You thought there were no secrets between you two. How could she get between you like this? How could your one and only love what she does for him so much that he is willing to betray your trust?

Do want to know who she is? She spells her name, M-O-N-E-Y. And, guess what? He isn't the only one that's been cheating with her, so have you!

Between grandmothers telling us to have our own little kitty somewhere that he doesn't know about to our private shopping sprees it's relatively easy to fall in to the trap of creeping with our money. Our needs and wants manifest themselves in ways that cause us to operate with a lack of integrity. Sounds harsh, but let's call a spade a spade. People keep a secret stash to satisfy the need for security. Men and women have private shopping sprees to satisfy a desire that they think their spouse may otherwise deny.

I'm not trying to be holier-than-thou because guess what? I've done it too and it is NOT COOL!

I'm sure you and your spouse work hard for the things you have and to go behind one another's back and keep secrets about your money or spend money without your spouse knowing breeds an environment that can be destructive to a marriage. According to Money Magazine, 21% of money fights occur because of deceit when it comes to money. You may think that it's not a big deal, but think about how your secrets will make your spouse feel.

With money still being the leading cause of divorce, don't let your marriage go down the tube because of the poor decision of deceit. Let's be #TeamMarriage for life!!!!

HERE ARE FIVE WAYS YOU GET OVER THE TRAP of FINANCIAL INFIDELITY in YOUR MARRIAGE:

  1. STOP TODAY. Make the conscious decision that you are going to be upfront and honest with any and every decision regarding your money.

  • COMMUNICATE EXPECTATIONS. Sit down with your spouse and decide what your MUTUAL expectations are when it comes to spending and making financial decisions.
  • BE PREPARED FOR A NO. Sometimes your spouse may not be onboard with what you want to do and you have to be prepared to accept a "no" form time-to-time. Likewise, your spouse will have to do the same if and when you have a "no" to a request.
  • BE TRANSPARENT. There's nothing wrong with having your own account (I recommend separate accounts ONLY for "play" money); however, your spouse should know about it. That goes for the bills hidden under your mattress, as well.
  • DISCUSS THE BIGGER ISSUE. If you feel the need to hide your money or be secretive about spending, there may be a larger issue, maybe trust, insecurity or lack of support, which needs to be addressed.
  • "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." - Luke 16:10

    Show your spouse and yourself that you can be trusted and watch how your marriage improves, your spiritual life grows and how you begin to see MORE in your life because you can be trusted.

    In the comment box below, let me know your thoughts and how you manage not to "cheat" with your money in your marriage.