Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
My favorite kid is the one that can put his snow clothing on all by himself.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) January 28, 2016
[Karaoke] UP NEXT IS VAL! *Daniel Tiger theme starts* *crowd boos* Me: SHUT UP I'M A MOM THIS IS THE ONLY SONG I CAN REMEMBER RIGHT NOW
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 27, 2016
Parenthood is just constantly yelling "Don't do that!" & kids constantly replying "It was an accident!"
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 26, 2016
If a parent doesn't say "I'm so tired," can a day even really begin?
— Mike Reynolds (@PuzzlingPostDad) January 26, 2016
6yo: Mama, what *is* a groove thing?
— Farah Miller (@farahlearned) January 29, 2016
Today's lunch is a collection of all the sandwich crusts my son hasn't eaten over the past two weeks.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 28, 2016
What's it called when you're frantically looking for something that's already in your hand? Oh yeah, a parent.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) January 27, 2016
"I peed in the tub tonight," my 4yo announces while casually sipping out of a toy teacup full of bath water.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) January 25, 2016
Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 26, 2016
My kids wanted a karaoke machine for Christmas-little did I know it would be for yelling in the mic "CAN WE HAVE A SNACK" when I'm upstairs.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) January 27, 2016
A pride of lions. A murder of crows. A chaos of children.
— Brian Sorrell (@brsnz_writer) January 29, 2016
"Oh cool!" – my standard response to anything my son says regarding Minecraft.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) January 29, 2016
Spoiler Alert: Kids always forget to put the milk back in the refrigerator.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 29, 2016
I've been on a trip and really miss my kids...wait this coffee tastes weird. It's like all hot and stuff.
— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) January 25, 2016
The 4yo snuck out of the kitchen with a jelly donut and now instead of living in a house we live inside of a jelly jar.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) January 26, 2016
Kids are suggesting I grow a beard and then wrap it over my head to cover my bald spot so, long story short, kids for sale.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 24, 2016
Me: *singing bedtime story 6yos: *fall asleep 5 words in, snoring Me: *stops after 1st verse 6yos: *pop up* Hey, you didn't finish the song!
— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) January 26, 2016
I don't even know why I ask my son if he brushed his teeth, because the answer is always really, really obvious.
— Sarah (est. 1975) (@est1975blog) January 29, 2016
7: Come see what I made. M: Let me finish what I'm doing, then I will. 7: How about I stand here & tell you all about it until you give up.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 26, 2016
What's it like living in a house full if girls you ask? Hair. Hair on everything. Hair everywhere.
— Downtime Dad (@DowntimeDad) January 26, 2016
Me: How was school? 5: I'm Valentines with Noah now Me: What? 5: That means we're getting married Me: WHAT 5: Ugh. Not until we're old, mom!
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 26, 2016
Hope my kids never find out that I spend all 6 hours of their school day throwing away their art projects from the previous day.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) January 26, 2016
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