The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
There is nothing I love more than third-party gossip. Please tell me shocking stories about your coworker's boyfriend, your mom's best friend, your personal trainer's wife.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) October 11, 2023
saw a tiktok of a woman being like “here’s a trick i learned in italy” and she just squeezed lemon juice into her coke
— latke (@latkedelrey) October 10, 2023
My therapist texted me about scheduling and I sent back a therapy meme I’ve been saving for weeks and she laugh-reacted.
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) October 10, 2023
This feels like when the teacher uses your essay and an example or a TSA worker says you were very efficient. Overachiever-burned-out-oldest-daughter catnip.
(flirting) if i was murdered would u solve my case?
— 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 (@prettytheyswag) October 8, 2023
6:00 PM in the summer: The night is young! Let's stay outside for hours!
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 9, 2023
6:00 PM in the fall: Well it's dark, so I guess I'll just get ready for bed now.
In England the most dangerous place will be called like Twiddlingham and in Scotland the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen will be called something like Mung
— Matilda ♋︎ (@matildae22) October 12, 2023
beckham documentary has me on the edge of my seat wondering what’s going to happen in a tournament that took place 25 years ago
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) October 9, 2023
no cuz having a British bf is a humbling experience i’ll be making up drama in my head and start shit and my bf will just say “what u on about” and I just am like yeah ok lemme shut up
— ✭ 𝒞 𝒦 ✭ (@wolfiecindy) October 7, 2023
me lying to my doctor saying i drink 2-3 alcoholic beverages a week pic.twitter.com/sD81yd2Nsp
— trash jones (@jzux) October 8, 2023
why would i take the mail out of the mailbox ? once i take it out it becomes something i have to deal with
— chase (@_chase_____) October 8, 2023
the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me was when i sent a girl ss of her boyfriend flirting w me so she would know and then she said “yea he does that don’t feel special” and then blocked me . i was genuinely: 😮
— vereena 🪐 (@VereenaSayed) October 10, 2023
My dad said the Bigfoot sightings website he used to like has gone totally commercial "of course"
— em!! (@realemilyattack) October 8, 2023
I have a student w a hearing aid & I wear this thing around my neck so that he can hear me talking in his ear. Y’all why I forgot to mute it & I walked outside the class to cuss my man out…. I came back in & the student said “Ms. Figueroa are you okay?” 😭
— miss thang (@lolschey) October 11, 2023
You may be audacious, but are you “passing off a set of bowls from Walmart as handmade antiques at an over 700% markup on Etsy” audacious? pic.twitter.com/THuNuTtI7T
— Claire Zagorski, MSc, LP (@clairezagorski) October 11, 2023
A man from jail called me today and I accepted the call, idk why 😭 but he was like “I just dialed a random number. How’s life on the outside?” 😭😭😭
— Hoe...Why Is You Here? (@xWhyySoSerious) October 11, 2023
As a millennial, I have about 1-2 more “unprecedented times” in me before I move into a pineapple under the sea
— Keeks 🦋 (@DietCoke_Esq) October 10, 2023
finally buckling down and learning about stuff i exclusively know as nytimes crossword clues pic.twitter.com/asUns4dWPb
— Ol haj (@sin_ecdoche) October 8, 2023
Taco Bell shouldn’t even have a menu. You should just hand them $5-10 and let them interpret your spiritual needs.
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) October 11, 2023
There needs to be a grocery store for single people where they sell flour by the tablespoon
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) October 8, 2023
uber driver said “you an ashley, i put on some ashley music” and it’s paramore
— ashley ray (@theashleyray) October 9, 2023
What do you think David Beckham, a working class guy who worked obsessively hard from childhood to become one of the best in the world at something, thought when he first saw Brooklyn Beckham’s photography book pic.twitter.com/dPW9uuSOa1
— Matilda ♋︎ (@matildae22) October 7, 2023
apple be charging me $17, $5, $5, $10, $11 every month & idek what tf i’m paying for 😂🫠
— A ❥. (@Wuggaaaaa_) October 8, 2023
the sopranos is unrealistic because no one’s dad actually goes to therapy
— bailey moon (@baileymoon96) October 9, 2023
girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more
— em (@DI0RSBABY) October 9, 2023
No matter the species, toddlers just be doing whatever https://t.co/GnsmLLMFfF
— Whitty Huton Wuld Toor Manager (@wittykitty5) October 11, 2023
remember the 2010s wedding era where it became normal for a first dance to screech to a halt so they could show us that they could dance to crank that soulja boy.
— emily (@emilykmay) October 11, 2023
this is who pbs is talking about when they say “viewers like you” https://t.co/ejcFHxtdCn
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) October 8, 2023
I was watching “And Just Like That” in Spanish for 4 minutes before I realized I’d changed my language settings. I thought it was just a plot line where they all spoke Spanish to be more woke
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) October 8, 2023
ok i realized why i don’t like jigsaw puzzles that much it’s bc i don’t care to see a picture that badly
— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) October 10, 2023
I ate a sharp chip and you’re laughing. I ate a too sharp chip and hurt the roof of my mouth and you’re laughing
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) October 9, 2023
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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