How-To Talk To Your Kids About The 2016 Election: Lessons For My Daughter

November 8, 2016, was a eerily quiet day—a mixture of hope, fear, divisiveness, and optimism. A day that made some American’s very uneasy and left with the feeling that we had multiple personalities. Many of us had hoped for progression in our Country, but from very different perspectives—one group wanted ‘change’ and the adopted the idea of “Making America Great Again,” while others looked to elect our country’s first female President.

Some of us woke up on November 9th numb, riddled with pain, heartbroken, speechless, confused, and betrayed; others of us woke up jovial, relieved, and with an I told you so spirit. Our nation is divided, we are unsure of what the next 4 years will look liked. Will the world respect a female President? Will she automatically be placed in harms way because of her gender? Will we have to spend the next 4 years talking about these irrelevant emails?Then, there’s the other side with a candidate who never spoke about his policies, ran a divisive campaign based on hatred, possesses elitist ideals, full of misogyny, and clueless of politics. The progress that we worked so diligently to attain, appears to be erased in the blink of 279 vs. 228.

Many African-American parents, Muslim parents, Hispanic parents woke up this morning dreading breakfast and car rides because we didn’t know what we’d say to our children. We had to have tough conversations with them and calm their fears today—it was tough. I thought long and hard about the lessons I’d teach my daughter, as a result of this election; she had so much hope in seeing a female president. After all, her first experience was that of a Black president in President Barack Obama, it’s all she’s known in a national leader of the free world. I remember holding her in my arms at a church watch party in 2008 when President Obama was elected. I remember the hope I felt in our country, the tears in the eyes of my elders, and the elation I felt in my heart. I was a Black, educated woman who just witnessed the country’s first Black president. My Grandparents didn’t ever get to see it, those before them didn’t either, and now it was my daughter’s first experience. Last night, I felt none of that. I felt anxiety, disappointment, and hopelessness. The feeling of letting her down was strong. I asked myself, how do you turn this around? So, I made a list of what I dubbed, Election Lessons.

To my baby girl,

In life, we win some and we lose some but not all experiences are a true loss. God often uses the most unlikely and under qualified beings and qualifies them. This election is an example of him qualifying the unqualified, and our ability to respect and trust his decision—even when we don’t fully understand it. Here’s a few things I want you to take away from this experience, knowing all is not lost:

1. You will often have to work with the very people who persecute you. Do it with a smile and show 'em what you got. Kill them with kindness. You have witnessed Mommy doing this firsthand. Yes, it’s stretched me but it’s all been worth it. I expect you to do the same in life and keep your head up, walking graciously toward what God has for you.

2. Be careful what you ask for because when you push and push, God will some times give you what you want even when it's not for you. This is evident in Trump. God will always find a way to humble his children and barre bitterness from their hearts. Allow him to moved and always listen to his whispers. In order to live a full life, we must trust his plan and know that ours isn’t better than his.

3. In all things, keeps your eyes open and have faith—all circumstances aren't what they seem (our country hasn't truly won), but God has the final say. Again, keep him first and trust him.

4. When things don't go as planned, find another way and get more involved. For example, learn more about the voting process, its history, and how you can make a difference/greater impact. Always have a plan B, C, and D, grasshopper.

5. They talked about Jesus, so what makes you exempt? Handle it with grace and dignity, but more importantly lean on God in time of trouble. He is the author and finisher of all things. Unfortunately, none of us are exempt from persecution, hatred, or stereotypes but don’t allow them to define you.

6. Use your mind, equip yourself with the tools to fight battles with grace, earn an education, and use your voice to ignite true change for all—life isn’t about you.

7. Never forget where you came from and who helped you along the way (your ancestors). Don't you dare allow this to discourage you to rock your vote. It still matters.

8. There's no shame in trying, especially when you know it was your best effort. Mommy, always wants you to do your best.

9. Be unapologetically BLACK, and do it with your head held high. Again, be gracious. #TheyGoLowWeGoHigh

10. You are a Black girl who absolutely rocks and don't you forget it! Ain't no Trumpin’ that!

We didn't lose but have everything to gain from this. Our country may go through some growing pains, but it's sometimes needed to birth a new thing. We will need a new thing in 4 more years, and I’m counting on you and countless others to help see it through. I strongly believe God wants our nation to see the end result of the damage bigotry causes; he wanted to expose some - and gift tough love to others; and ultimately he wants some of y'all who don't have an ounce of faith, to watch him work! I most look forward to something great being birthed from what looked like a disaster. Everything is not as it always seem.

In a nutshell, Z and I had a candid conversation about the state of our nation. I'm grateful that she witnessed a true leader and change agent in President Obama - say what you will, my daughter got to see something my ancestors and I waited a long time for. At least for her, she's been able to see what real leadership, resilience and faith looks like. She now can appreciate the last 8 years even more so with what we are about to experience. I pray it pushes her to be the best version of herself, and spread her wings with dignity and confidence.

Parents, I encourage you to have age appropriate, candid conversations with your children and don’t doubt their ability to understand. Allow your children to openly express themselves and don’t diminish their fears, but calm them. Also, be proactive in teaching them the voting process and the importance of voting locally. Help your little tikes become change-agents and live a selfless life, full of service.

✌🏾,

Ebony

#BrandMeGlobal