This weekend has to be the best moment I've ever had on stage. In front of a hometown crowd in Tulsa, Oklahoma, opening for one of my biggest musical influences, the great Ani DiFranco, I was able to shout to the rooftops (of the historic Cain's Ballroom where we performed last night), that I was legally married to my husband, Ryan, in a song I wrote entitled, "Oklahoma Marriage Equality Song For Mary and Sharon."
My husband and I were married 2 years ago in front of our friends and family in a small wedding in Tulsa after being together for 8 years. We had a fantastic wedding with music, food, cake and all the trappings but one thing separated us from other weddings: a marriage license. After our Oklahoma nuptials, we were told constantly to head to one of the few states where we could be legally married as a same sex couple (the closest being Iowa). I understood the meaning of doing it but I felt once we returned to the Oklahoma border, that piece of paper might as well be blank.
Then, October 6 happened.
I woke to the news of the Supreme Court denying to hear appeals involving the same-sex marriage cases of five states. At first, I didn't even believe it since many of the state bans would at first be ruled unconstitutional and then an "emergency" stay would be placed where marriages were halted if they even happened at all. Thanks to two amazing women, Mary and Sharon Bishop-Baldwin, who sued the state of Oklahoma to lift the ban on same sex marriages, their case of 9 years was one of the five the Supreme Court referred to on that day. Just like that, same sex marriage was legal in my home state of Oklahoma! I have traveled all over this country as a singer/songwriter hearing constantly that Oklahoma would be the last state to get marriage equality. We have been known to be a pretty red state and marriage equality felt decades away. Today, it doesn't matter who is the first or the last state; just that this wave of equality is sweeping through our nation fast. That week, Alaska and North Carolina, amongst others, joined the other states where marriage equality victories took place. If it weren't for Mary and Sharon's case, Oklahoma would not have been included on Oct. 6. To be able to look two people in the eye and say, "Thank you so much for making this possible for Ryan and I," is still overwhelming to me.
On Sunday, October, 26, I got my chance to do just that. I had been on tour in the northeast on the 6 and sad that I had to miss this moment in Oklahoma when it happened. I decided to write Mary and Sharon a song. My show in Oklahoma at Cain's Ballroom opening for Ani DiFranco, a show benefiting Tulsa's very own Woody Guthrie Center, seemed the perfect moment. This video shows my first ever performance of the song with an energetic crowd cheering on Mary, Sharon and my legal marriage right here in Oklahoma. At the end, I pull my marriage license out of my pocket flashing it proudly for all to see. The lyrics are below and as you can see, a tribute to the two people who made this possible. It also involves a mention of our governor, Mary Fallin, who would stop at nothing to make sure this day would not occur. But it did! This election day with the power of our votes, we can make sure our winning candidates are ones that support marriage equality. Thank you so much to Mary and Sharon Bishop-Baldwin!
Forever grateful,
~Eric Himan
"Oklahoma Marriage Equality Song For Mary and Sharon"
Lyrics:
(Eric Himan, Thumbcrown Publishing, Inc. ASCAP)
One day, I'm gonna marry you in Oklahoma
Mary and Sharon said it'd be!
One day, I'm gonna marry you in Oklahoma
Now we have marriage equality!
They said we'd always be in last place
They said we were the reddest of all the red states
But thanks to these activists, we can have our wedded bliss
Thanks for giving us the ultimate wedding gift!:)
One day, I'm gonna marry you in Oklahoma
Mary and Sharon said it'd be!
One day, I'm gonna marry you in Oklahoma
Now we have marriage equality!
Our governor sees our victory as war
She said Oklahomans voted on this back in 2004
Mary Fallin, you're a jerk, you best start looking for new work
cause we are voting you out November 4th!
One day, I'm gonna marry you in Oklahoma
Mary and Sharon said it'd be! (said it'd be!)
One day, I'm gonna marry you in Oklahoma
Now I have marriage equality!