Psychologist: Trump's Voice Causes Mania, Belligerence, Impotence in Rats - Yet Rats Still Plan on Voting for Him

Clinical psychologist Barmy Winds, Ph.D., has analyzed decades of the words and actions of GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump. Dr. Winds, an associate professor at Wossamotta University, credits Trump's "narcissism" and "self-aggrandizement" to the billionaire real estate developer's childhood. Here is an excerpt from an interview with Dr. Winds.

Q: In his first debate with Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, Mr. Trump called his temperament his "strongest asset." Does Mr. Trump have the temperament to be president?

Dr. Barmy Winds: It is my educated opinion that Mr. Trump lacks the temperament to order French fries at a drive-thru restaurant.

Q: Mr. Trump has said, "When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at me now, I'm basically the same. The temperament is not that different." Is this common?

Dr. Barmy Winds: For a second grader perhaps.

Q: But not for an adult?

Dr. Barmy Winds: Not even for a third grader.

Q: You have suggested that Trump's maturation was stunted by something that happened on his second birthday. What was that?

Dr. Barmy Winds: His mother threw him a surprise party. She invited everyone he knew . . .

Q: Don't a lot of mothers throw their children surprise birthday parties?

Dr. Barmy Winds: Usually, the mother invites the child having the birthday.

Q: Mrs. Trump did not invite Donald to his own birthday party?

Dr. Barmy Winds: That was the surprise. Everyone had such a good time that she did the same thing the next year and the year after that . . .

Q: And she never invited Donald?

Dr. Barmy Winds: That would've spoiled the surprise . . . and apparently the fun. People who attended, and most of them are now around 70, remember those parties as the best days of their childhood.

Q: Without Donald being there?

Dr. Barmy Winds: Because Donald wasn't there?

Q: How odd?

Dr. Barmy Winds: Have you seen the movie, It's a Wonderful Life.

Q: Yes, of course.

Dr. Barmy Winds: George Bailey learns that everyone's life was better because he was born.

Q: What does George Bailey have to do with Trump?

Dr. Barmy Winds: To truly understand Mr. Trump, you have to understand that parties are better without him. In fact, everything is better without him and the life of everyone he's ever met would've been better if he had never been born.

Q: That's almost . . . sad.

Dr. Barmy Winds: Almost.

Q: How did this affect him?

Dr. Barmy Woods: He created a fantastical world in his mind where he was better than anyone else and then surrounded himself only by toadies and sycophants who perpetuated that fantasy. He became like the emperor in Hans Christian Andersen's The Emperor's New Clothes.

Q: The Atlantic magazine published a story a few months ago that looked inside the mind of Donald Trump? What would one find inside the mind of Mr. Trump?

Dr. Barmy Winds: I'm sure it's a dark and lonely place, certainly not the kind of place you would want to be late at night - and it goes without saying that this is not somewhere you would go on a honeymoon or on a vacation with your kids.

Q: You've conducted experiments using Mr. Trump's voice, isn't that right?

Dr. Barmy Winds: Yes, I had laboratory rats listen to Mr. Trump's voice. I found that when rats listened to Trump's voice for an extended period, it made them manic, belligerent, imbecilic, and, and in some cases, impotent.

Q: Does his voice have the same impact on human beings? If so, that's a bit scary.

Dr. Barmy Winds: Here's something scarier. Even when rats are aware of those side effects, most of them still say they plan to vote for Mr. Trump.