The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Based on that 10,000 hours thing I'm like a double expert at Netflix.
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) December 2, 2015
When I was a little kid I used to think that animals also came to the zoo and we were all there just experiencing each other.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) December 2, 2015
I don't need a Fitbit. I need a device that has a hand come out & slap me when I reach for a donut. That's the thing I'll pay $140 to wear.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) December 1, 2015
breaking: i have decided to add Poppy to the list of names that i call my vagina, please update your records accordingly
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) December 4, 2015
When you wear leggings for so long you keep forgetting to zip your fly.
— Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) November 30, 2015
BOY: *breaks up with me* ME: well that's a shame. now you'll never know where i hid the antidote BOY: what ME: what?
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) November 30, 2015
In the American political system, one party is considered especially heinous. These are their stories. LAW & ORDER: GOP *dundun*
— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) December 1, 2015
shower beverages, ranking: 6. cocktails 5. wine 4. coffee 3. seltzer 2. milkshake 1. beer
— Aude White (@audevwhite) December 2, 2015
it's been scientifically proven that all food tastes 157.6% better when eaten off your man's plate, esp if you're not that hungry #factsonly
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) December 4, 2015
honestly, if your @ reply isn't uplifting towards someone, just masturbate instead.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 4, 2015
My natural hair journey as explained by #TheWiz: The Lion on wash day. Dorothy after a twist out. Scarecrow after sleeping on twist out.
— Rachel H. (@MiissHislop) December 4, 2015
[me watching the Batman v Superman trailer] No. No. Why? No. What? No. Fuck this. OH HELL YEAH WONDER WOMAN! No. No.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 4, 2015
One nice thing about being an adult is realizing you can say "I really don't give a shit about it" and that's argument enough.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) December 2, 2015
reading the news like "UNSUBSCRIBE!" living in America like "UN! SUB! SCRIBE!!!!!!" being a human like "no seriously un-fucking-subscribe"
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) December 2, 2015
Do people at coffee shops realize their deep thoughts are crowding your space
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 4, 2015
i'll never understand just-married couples at weddings who dance to "the scientist" like that song is sad af
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) December 3, 2015
My mom owns a restaurant and I told her if she didn't give me thirty dollars I would give her a bad Yelp review
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) December 1, 2015
All my selfies look like me. - a memoir
— DeeLiciousRockin' (@TDeeRock) December 1, 2015
My shoes are much more sensible than I am.
— AstronAmy (@SpacePlankton) December 4, 2015
The Christmas season must be a really exciting time for people with a bell fetish.
— Manda Likebaubles (@Manda_like_wine) November 29, 2015
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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