6 Times When You Must Trust Yourself

6 Times When You Must Trust Yourself
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There are times when one is wise to ask for a second opinion. Then, there are these times, when no one knows the answer but you.

By Amy Shearn

When You're 87 Percent Sure You Might Blow It
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How many of us have a seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time, thrift-store find in our garage? For example: the table we've been trying to get gutsy enough to refinish. We know what we want to do, but we're afraid. Afraid of varnish.

Why You Should Trust Yourself Now: You might well screw it up. You really might. But what do you have to lose? Unfinished creative projects are the teratomas of the soul. And what creative work ever got completed by saying, "I don't want to start because I'm afraid to mess up"?
When You Look at Your Fiancé's Photo
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He's a great guy. Everybody—including your mom—thinks so. And so you do. Except, when you look at his picture, you feel a tingle of dread. Is that how you really feel about him—or is that the pre-wedding jitters?

Why You Should Trust Yourself Now: A Florida State University study finds that newlyweds' gut instincts about their partners and the future of their marriages are usually right. When it comes to love, sometimes your body knows what your brain can't articulate.
When You Have Been Completely Humiliated
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Maybe you weren't asked to leave your high-profile job 137 days after taking it, but you've been completely, utterly, how-will-I-ever-recover-from-this, flooded-with-self-doubt humiliated.

Why You Should Trust Yourself Now: Remember that classic 70's photo of the Knicks' locker room after they won the championship, with the sign that read, "Hard Work Beats Mistakes"? It's a motto that's been proven now; as Robert J. Sternberg wrote for The Chronicle of Higher Education, "The main characteristic that makes people successful is not their IQ, emotional intelligence, or even creativity. It is their resilience in the face of what seem to be insurmountable obstacles." Your resilience will save you.
When You're 41 Years and 9 Months Old
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I recently met a woman who has been working on her ukulele opus for 20 years. Not that she's written a note. In fact, she only just learned how to play the instrument. But she's had it in mind that she would create this piece of music for decades...only to falter now, because it somehow feels too late to begin.

Why You Should Trust Yourself Now: Research from the Erasmus School of Economics in the Netherlands shows we reach our creative peak at 41 years and 9 months, or when we reach 62 percent of our lifespan (based on studying the top works of 221 major artists).
If You've Been Meditating
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You finally took your blissed-out, preternaturally calm aunt's advice and started meditating every day.

Why You Should Trust Yourself Now: Research finds that meditation actually increases the brain's gray matter in regions associated with sensitivity to the body's signals. When you meditate regularly, your brain is actually more in tune with your body.
When You're 74 Percent Sick with 100 Percent of the Flu
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You're sick. But you might be able to work. If you could just get out of bed and drag yourself over there. So when you're talking to your boss, should you feel okay -- or not -- taking that sick day.

Why You Should Trust Yourself Now: We all get that it's complicated, but you know when you're sick and when you're just feeling tired. You have work to do, of course you do, that's why you usually go to work every day. But infecting the entire office with your plague is not going get any more work done, now, is it?

Before You Go

How To Trust Yourself And Your Intuition
1. Create Space For Yourself(01 of04)
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Whether this means taking a vacation from the job or a separation from your significant other, create the space to really tune into yourself. If vacation or separation is too extreme, simply find time in your days, weeks or months where you can be alone. House-sit for a friend or take a mini-vacation on your own for the weekend. It's not so much about where you go as it is about creating time to be alone and away from others. Use this time and space for some serious introspection. I highly recommend handwritten journaling as it allows you to slow down and really pour your thoughts and feelings onto the page. Write without judgment, analyzing or thinking. Just let it out without censoring. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="6" data-vars-position-in-unit="18">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/46183897@N00/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" gurdonark" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/46183897@N00/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="7" data-vars-position-in-unit="19"> gurdonark</a>)
2. Strengthen Your Intuition(02 of04)
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Before you do or think anything else, it's so important to create a solid connection with your intuition. That part of you that just knows when something is right or not. Your intuition is your compass in life and until you learn to really connect with it, you'll continually find yourself in the wrong situations, feeling unhappy or lacking fulfillment. Start with the small things... when someone invites you to do something with them, or an opportunity comes your way, what is your initial intuitive hit on the situation? Do you feel tense, closed off or tight? It's likely a no. Do you feel open, expansive and energized? It's definitely a yes. Practice with small things and keep a log. Did your intuition say no, but you went anyways because logically it made sense? Did you end up having a miserable time? Now you know what NO feels like. Did your intuition say yes, but someone told you it was a bad idea and now you really regret it? Now you know what YES feels like. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="4" data-vars-position-in-unit="16">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/calsidyrose/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" Calsidyrose" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/calsidyrose/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="5" data-vars-position-in-unit="17"> Calsidyrose</a>)
3. Learn To Stay In The Present Moment(03 of04)
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Our reaction to almost everything in life is often to think our way through, out of or away from it. While logic has its place, intuition should never be ignored. We're all energetic beings and there's energy in every situation, relationship and experience... To ignore your intuition is to deny yourself the your most powerful tool for creating a life you love. If you find yourself in your head, pause and reconnect with your senses -- the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, your breath going in and out, and the sounds and smells around you. Check into your body and how you're feeling. You can always rationalize things one way or another, but how do you feel about it? What does your intuition tell you? (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="2" data-vars-position-in-unit="14">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/pat00139/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" pat00139" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/pat00139/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="3" data-vars-position-in-unit="15"> pat00139</a>)
4. Trust And Respond To Your Intuitive Hits(04 of04)
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When a simple truth pops into your head, take the time to really explore it. No over-thinking or analyzing... How do you feel when you hear it? What sensations are created in your body? Take time to explore it on your own, in your journal. Dig deep into why you feel what you feel. Then take action. This isn't about massive changes such as quitting your job or moving across the country. Take baby steps toward making shifts in your life. Update your resume, hire a life coach to help you discover what you really want or put the feeler out for a new job. Go to a couple's counselor, start the conversation, buy a book or take a class. Simply lean into it and trust yourself and the process. Change will happen, and it doesn't have to be dramatic. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr:" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="12">Flickr:</a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/steelmore/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name=" Just Taken Pics" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="5bb79cbce4b05eed788ba4f2" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/people/steelmore/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="13"> Just Taken Pics</a>)