Anne M. Plant is a recent widow with two young daughters, 13 and 9, who traded their E! entourage lifestyle in Los Angeles for stability and structure in a provincial town on the Virginian peninsula. Now here's the true unfolding story of how Anne's sister and Army officer brother in law opened up their home. They have three children of their own; a girl, 14, a boy who's 11 and Baby Binkles, she is one. Taking in Anne and her two makes eight! The melding together of these two families is Operation Brady Bunch and it is high adventure.
"Mom, you should marry this guy. That'd be so great," said my thirteen year old, Ms. MySpace. "I've already emailed him about you." This is how, tongue in cheek, she introduced me to her chosen future stepfather and the host of her favorite internet show, Cute with Chris. He must be pretty special. It is the only time she has even considered my dating since her father passed away. Apparently, Chris Leavins is popular with teenage girls. Each week viewers send in pictures of their pets which are then voted upon to determine who is the cutest. (This is called the "Cute Down".) Pictures are mostly of kittens and puppies, though I've seen some rats and guinea pigs, too. The host is pithy and quite cute himself with an amusing streak of cynicism. I smiled as I imagined a modern day internet romance of flirtatious emails and video chats leading to a future life with Chris, the Canadian actor now living in Los Angeles. Yeah, right. That marriage would last just until my wrinkle cream ran out and reality set in.
I was married to Mr. Plant for over a decade before he passed away a year and half ago. I have no interest in dating. I have no time and my heart is not ready, but lately I've caught myself looking. I'm wondering what's going on inside of me. First there was Chris. Now there is a new man whom I have been seeing on Sundays. I can't believe it, I'm trolling in church! I am so ashamed. Seriously, I have never before scoped the pews for dating material -- except to set up Jen, a friend who will no longer audition my matchmaking suggestions. Now my mind is not on God, but man.
It all began one Sunday last month when my daughters were not with me. I sat in a different pew a little closer to the front. After settling in I became aware of a handsome man with his seven-year-old son sitting to my right. I waited for the mother to arrive, but she never came. He was tall, lean and hard. His short gray hair was the stately evolution of what was once a rich coal. We did not speak, only exchanged a polite nod and quick smile. (OMG! I'm writing a romance novel!)
I had forgotten all about this man until last Sunday when I noticed him and his son in the balcony where my daughters and I regularly sit. From our seats I could see his chiseled profile. His son sat quietly next to him. The man has large well-formed hands. You can see the strength and health coursing through his veins. He did not wear a ring. Then I noticed he wore a ring on his right hand like I do. Maybe he is a widower? Approximately ten minutes into the service, a blonde caused a piston wave of parishioners as she moved down the pew. The man and the woman smiled at each other when she sat down next to his son. There was no touchy-touchy, huggy-kissy greeting. "Good!, I thought, "He likes blondes -- and she's not punctual. I still have a chance."
Later that day I mentioned this church man to my sister and brother-in-law. My brother-in-law told me to bring him by for inspection. I laughed. "I don't think so," I said. All the things I find attractive about this man are probably all the things wrong with him. His tall taut body and impeccable grooming are likely indicators of an uptight personality. He is probably OCD, with a color coded closet and twist ties around every AV cord in his house. He probably works out each day at 5:00am and gets his hair cut the third Friday of the month. No way could I live with that rigor, let alone my teenage daughter. Have you seen her room?
Judging from Chris' ever-morphing, casual cool facial hair, he would be a better fit for Ms. MySpace. But he, too, could be a difficult personality to live with. His pithy comments probably spring from a disillusioned, bitter heart caused by years of working in the entertainment industry. Compounding this challenge is his growing celebrity status. Chris has a large fan base of teenage girls. Though this is wildly appealing to my daughter, it is less so to me. My brother in-law scolded me, telling me how ridiculous I was to cross a man off the list for imaginary flaws. This made me laugh because he's right! I guess, deep down, I'm not really ready.
I am surprised to have caught myself looking when my heart is not seriously interested. It must be biological impulse. So far my heart is in control, but my head is wondering when? Perhaps it will be never. This is beyond the scope of Emily Post. I may be considering, but in reality I avoid eye contact lest I be called out on my thoughts. I feel like a reclusive little school girl watching the boys from afar, unsure if I want to venture out or remain safe in my own world. I have found myself admiring a man in church and smiling at the thought of living life with a comic actor. Is the man in the pew my God-ordained soul mate? Would I be cute with Chris? I don't know. I'm not ready to find out, but it's fun to imagine...