sense of self
I want to take that young woman, the younger self who was so eager to be liked that she lost a part of herself, gently by the hand and tell her that pleasing yourself first is so much more important than pleasing others. You place so little value on your own being when you live to please others. And you lose a very precious thing in the bargain; your voice and the right to an opinion.
Strengthening your sense of self is going to be key to getting you through those days successfully. Here I will give you the five must's to help strengthen your sense of self and increase your confidence.
I don't want to start a debate on success or happiness. Instead, I want to highlight an opportunity we have as parents: Let's help children everywhere in this world to experience less pain, misery and agony in life.
It's hard work changing yourself to suit every situation. It's hard work over thinking everything you say to make sure it's just right, and it's hard work having your only validation come from the reactions and approval of others.
Creating the illusion that we are the dust on the mirror, the ego ensures that we believe we could never be so beautiful as the radiant reflection beneath the surface. Yet how extraordinary to believe that we cannot be free when freedom is our true nature!
I believe that doubt is the No. 1 killer of the human spirit. And it is imperative that we see it and address it and shake it loose. With fear, you can still feel the adrenaline and get the energy to overcome it, but doubt can paralyze you and you don't even feel it.
If we fail to wake up to who we are beyond the story of self, our system will register a "stuckness." It's a developmental arrest that shows up as dissatisfaction, endless stress, loneliness, fear, and joylessness. This is a sign that the timeless dimension of our being is awaiting realization.
Upon meeting someone new, part of me hopes I will never hear the dreaded four words (what-do-you-do) because then I wouldn't have to assess how I am going to respond -- with my pragmatic communications-consultant role, or with the idealistic wanting-to-save-the-world profile.