I Just Took $5 Billion Off $700 Billion (Cost to Taxpayers: Zero)

Let me break it down:

1) Hard working, non-Wall Street taxpayers believe it's unfair for them to pay for the mistakes of greedy, irresponsible members of the "financial community" who put the country in this mess. Theirs is a fair and unassailable point.

2) Proponents of the $700 billion taxpayer-funded bailout say if we don't buy into their plan right away, certain doom will befall us. It appears there is little argument on the point that immediate action is necessary but many feel that whether their plan is the right one would require some additional study time.

3) In the absence of alternative remedial plans, and given that only immediate action will save us, which leaves little time to study the plan on the table, taxpayers may have no choice but to pony up for the unjust/unfair but necessary bailout of the jokers who dug us this hole.

Rock and a hard place, right? Not if you follow my interim plan.

The government says they want to help? Okay, let's really put the I.R.S. to work. The President should direct that agency, right now, to identify all those who profited from the root cause, Vegas-style financial dealing in the last 10 years -- you know, the guys on Wall Street making the bonuses in tens and hundreds of millions -- and have them pay the first round of the bailout from their personal finances. It won't be hard to find them. (I assure you, the I.R.S. knows how to do it.) Look at everybody from Lehman Brothers, AIG, Merrill Lynch, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, et al., and specially tax them and them alone on a graduated scale based on their winnings.

If the bankers and traders and executives can't come up with it then go to the financial television networks -- CNBC, Fox Business, etc. -- and replay the tapes. Find out who was cheerleading this whole charade and tax them too. (They're also easy to find. Most of them are now self-righteously commenting on the collapse and still, incredibly, offering insight and advice.)

By my estimation, collection list would come to about 10,000 people averaging about $5 million each payouts each. That's a total of $5 billion.

With my interim plan, no money would come from innocent taxpayers and it would flush enough liquidity back into the market to buy Congress and perhaps even the next administration (which is less than 40 days away from taking over) time to come up with a plan that all agree is as fair and as effective as it can be.

Tell me where I'm wrong?