Kelly Kay opened up about the death of boyfriend Spencer Webb, a college football player who perished after an accidental fall in July, for the first time.
In an interview published Thursday, Kay recalled being at the scene — and watching Webb die.
“I was there,” she told People. “Spencer passed away in my arms. I was the one who pulled him out of the water and held his head until the paramedics got there. But unfortunately, he passed as they were arriving. I was in disbelief. I died that day as well. It’s unbelievable.”
She continued: “The whole time we were waiting for the paramedics, I was just talking to him and telling him, ‘We’re going home. We’re walking out of here.’ There was a little glimmer of hope in my mind that maybe we were going to be okay, but it didn’t end up that way.”
Webb was recovered July 13 from a popular cliff-diving spot named Slide Rock about 35 miles west of the University of Oregon campus. Law enforcement said the 22-year-old, who was a tight end for the school’s Oregon Ducks team, had fallen while climbing the side of a cliff and sustained a fatal head injury.
One week after Webb’s death, Kay learned she was pregnant. The model welcomed their son at the end of March — and named him Spider in honor of his father’s locker-room nickname with the Ducks.
“I don’t remember the first probably five or six months,” Kay told People. “A trauma brain is real, and in between morning sickness from being pregnant and just being depressed and not eating, it was super, super hard.”
It’s been long confirmed that traumatic stress can severely impact the brain. As published by the National Institute of Health, a study showed that it can lead to a variety of disorders, depression and dissociation, and the type of memory loss alluded to by Kay.
Kay has felt Webb’s presence nonetheless, however, and said Justin Bieber’s “Ghost” — a “very emotional song about someone passing” that she played at a memorial for Webb — came on at the doctor’s office in the middle of her pregnancy being confirmed.
“When the doctor told me, I was just like, he knows,” Kay told People. “This is the sign. This was meant to happen. As down and out of it as I was, there was a little bit of happiness inside of me knowing I’m going to have a piece of him.”
She’s since been relishing “every single second” of motherhood.
“The joy of the new baby has brought me out of the depression that I was in, but I think that the grief of losing Spencer is a chip on my shoulder that will never go away,” Kay told the outlet, adding that she hopes her son goes to the University of Oregon in the future. “I know he is going to be D1.”
“He’s already nonstop,” she concluded.