The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing us we were good people for cutting up the 6 pack plastic rings BEFORE we threw them into the ocean forever
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) May 23, 2022
I’ve been described as “introverted” by dozens of men I didn’t want to talk to
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) May 24, 2022
My niece asked me to unlock my phone so she could watch cartoon on my phone, I didn’t answer her, next thing she took my phone out of the room and I was looking for her. Just guess where I found this babe? In front of our family portrait, trying to unlock my phone with my picture
— Baker in Ibadan 👩🏽🍳 (@Caramel_Lima) May 26, 2022
I’m in England, Great Britain AND the United Kingdom all at the same time?! Girl! What is the name of this country?
— Dulcé Sloan (@dulcesloan) May 23, 2022
Confession: I didn't know what hiking was until I went away to college. And once I learned what it was my take away was basically "walking that white people have made complicated"
— Kendra "Gloom is My Beat" Pierre-Louis (@KendraWrites) May 24, 2022
My mom just sent this deeply unsettling pic of me as a kid pic.twitter.com/JLSRjdGZNS
— Deb Duncan (@debraduncan) May 23, 2022
my power move is saying "oh that's my dog's name" whenever i'm introduced to someone new
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) May 24, 2022
Anxiety tip: Next time you cringe over some embarrassing moment you had years ago try to remember other people's embarrassing moments. You can’t can you? That’s because you’re the only embarrassing human to exist, everyone else is always thinking about how cringey you are.
— Cassie (@Cassiesmyth) May 24, 2022
KFC really had me washing dishes for my job interview and never hired me 😭
— brii (@bri1817) May 22, 2022
i asked my work neighbor to borrow a pen and she stuck this through the door lmao pic.twitter.com/VZ5VuaSkmt
— grace (@thebiggestyee) May 26, 2022
*drinks dr. pepper* mmm bbq sprite
— sparkleboob (@baysueb) May 22, 2022
arguing through text will have you standing on one spot for 30mins😂
— Aira (@_whysoserious0) May 25, 2022
One time I was out with a guy and he needed new jeans so he opened up maps and just typed in “pants”
— Kate 💭 (@Kateness8) May 25, 2022
shoutout to the uber eats driver who showed up and left 31 cheeseburgers with a baby like “this is not my fuckin problem” https://t.co/whw9AdEKTY
— Miss Gender, More Like Miss Banger (@girldrawsghosts) May 23, 2022
Getting in a car accident mad embarrassing, everyone just driving by watching you take a L
— Tina Turtle 🐢 (@tinaqueen_15) May 23, 2022
Worked at a ‘guest is always right’ restaurant - no contradictions allowed. Guy rejects his coffee, “this isnt a macchiato”. Led to 3 servers hiding behind the bar trying to guess what he thinks a macchiato is based only on his looks, like ancient shamans interpreting animal bone
— Honey (@benegotherit) May 25, 2022
No drugs can even compare to this pic.twitter.com/EOBqcu2ey7
— maria🦝 (@mariamainmo) May 23, 2022
How do you expect me to go to sleep after learning the US Government has hidden 1.4 billion pounds of cheese in a system of caves under Springfield, Missouri
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) May 22, 2022
uber eats be sending notifications like “you forgot to order” nah bro i saw the price and came to my senses
— juju 💰 (@ihyjuju) May 21, 2022
why would anyone choose to go big when the alternative is getting to go home
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) May 22, 2022
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