Yelp Prison Reviews Of D.C., Virginia, Maryland Detention Centers

WASHINGTON -- "Only 3 basic cable channels and no nets for the basketball hoops are the least of the problems here. But the staff is decent..."

Yelp reviewer Peter P. isn't discussing a recent hotel stay or reviewing a local gym; instead, he's weighing in on Hagerstown Prison.

Yes, even correctional facilities aren't safe from Yelp-ers these days. In a segment Monday night on "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert highlighted a Yelp review of the Arlington County Detention Center that included this important note: "Yes... they have juice boxes!"

The reviews of D.C. area correctional facilities range from helpful ("Visitors must dress appropriately for visitation") to the downright bizarre ("No type of entertainment"), and while conditions for D.C. Jail prisoners may only rate one star, visitors to the D.C. Jail Cafeteria give the eatery a glowing review:

Of course, some Yelp-ers can't resist a tongue-in-cheek take on prison reviews. We're pretty sure Felix L. isn't serious in his criticism of D.C. Jail (or else he needs a basic primer of the definition of 'jail'):

Here's what Yelp reviewers have to say about D.C. area detention centers: