A Dystopic Ditty


Well here it is November 9th, so treat me with respect
For I am not just Mr. Trump, I'm President Elect
Thank you to the Sunshine State and both the Carolinas
You put your trust in Donald Trump, though I like to grab vaginas
Yankee Doodle went to town a-ridin' on a pony
Me, I rode in differently, on Putin, Assange and Comey

The first thing on my list to do, after, of course, revenge
Is deal with the lying press, I've so much to avenge
They're gone, they're toast, they're history, but I'm not without a heart
I'll leave in place Fox, Alex Jones, and best of all, Breitbart
Don't like it, tough, do not blame me, take it up with my mélange
Dial 1-800-treason, ask for Putin, Comey or Assange.

Mexicans go adios, Obamacare it falls
Hello tax cuts for the rich and the mother of all walls
Trade wars and deficits, Scalia clones galore
And I'm just getting started, folks, I've so much more in store
You ask me how it came to this, how things could get this bad
Just ask my three amigos, Assange, Comey and Vlad.

My finger's on the button, so world leaders please be wise
The slightest little insult and you'll all be vaporized
Don't even think impeachment, no how, no chance, no way
Cause I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you say
You wonder who to blame for this, I'm happy to name names
My ever loyal troika, Vladimir, Julian and James