Funny And Sincere Quotes About Parenthood From Andy Samberg

The comedian has a daughter with his wife, Joanna Newsom.
Andy Samberg attends Universal Television's for-your-consideration event for "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" at UCB Sunset Theater on June 13, 2018, in Los Angeles.
Paul Archuleta via Getty Images
Andy Samberg attends Universal Television's for-your-consideration event for "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" at UCB Sunset Theater on June 13, 2018, in Los Angeles.

Andy Samberg tries to find humor in pretty much everything, including the chaotic adventure of parenthood.

The comedian has a daughter with his wife, Joanna Newsom. Since announcing their child’s birth in 2017, Samberg has shared a few glimpses into his parenting experience ― from his dorky dad shoes to his bouts of sleep deprivation.

In honor of his birthday, here are 11 funny and earnest quotes about fatherhood from the “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” star.

On How Fatherhood Changed Him

“I’m changed. I don’t know if you noticed, but I suddenly was gripped with the urge to buy those Steph Curry nurse shoes. I went and got ’em. I was like, ‘My dad instincts are kicking in. I gotta rock these.’ And then they arrived, I was like, ‘You know what, I think I’m kind of making them work. I think they look cool.’ And then I was like, ‘No, I’m a dad, I think they look good.’ I went outside and a bunch of dads were like, [pointing] ‘Yeah!’”

On Becoming A Parent

“It’s interesting, when your wife is pregnant and you’re expecting, everyone’s like, ‘It’s incredible. Get ready. It’s magic. It’s the most life-changing experience you’ll ever have. Brace yourself for heaven.’ And then the second the baby comes, everyone’s like, ‘Welcome to hell! Ha ha ha! You fool! You’re in a world of shit!’ ... I feel like I’m gonna get kicked out for telling everyone without kids — it’s really hard. I’d look out.”

On The Best Part Of Being A Dad

“She’s still really young, but she has started just sitting there and making fart noises with her mouth and then laughing really hard. And I was like, ‘Oh, well, I’ve taught her everything I know.’”

Samberg and Newsom attend the New York premiere of "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" on May 24, 2016.
Monica Schipper via Getty Images
Samberg and Newsom attend the New York premiere of "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" on May 24, 2016.

On How His Work Prepared Him For Fatherhood

“I’ve been trained with ‘Saturday Night Live.You don’t sleep there. When you work there, you don’t sleep.”

On His Parenting Policies

“I’m definitely not going to let her make slime. That was terrifying. ... It seems just disgusting and bad.”

On The Adjustment

“It’s wonderful. It feels fantastic. That’s a new project, yes. That takes up a lot [of time]. They’re in charge.”

On Returning To Work

“It’s wonderful being back at work. I love my daughter, but you get to work and everyone’s like, ‘Can I get you anything? Do you want food? Do you want me to not pee on you?’”

On Early Parenting Stories

“She’s not crying all the time. That’s nice. I feel like everyone gets peed on. I don’t have a crazy one. I’d have to mine my mind. I’m too sleepy for remembering memories.”

Samberg and Newsom arrive at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on Sept. 20, 2015, in Los Angeles.
Dan MacMedan via Getty Images
Samberg and Newsom arrive at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on Sept. 20, 2015, in Los Angeles.

On The Difference Between ‘SNL’ And Parenthood

“I had good training for parenthood by working at ‘SNL.’ The sleep deprivation part of it has been like, ‘Oh, right ― this feeling.’ But there’s so much less stress because the baby’s not going live at 11:30.”

On Anniversaries Before And After Having A Baby

“The first three anniversaries were very lavish. Fancy dinner, nice restaurant, huge thing of flowers, dazzle her, go out dancing probably. And then we’ve got the baby now. So this year, I got home. I picked a single flower out of the neighbor’s garden. I walked in and I was like, ‘Happy anniversary.’ She’s like, ‘Thanks.’ And then we both passed out on our faces.”

On His First Year Of Fatherhood

“It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful.”

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