The Best Books And Podcasts For Queer Parenting

Don't miss out on these wonderful expert-backed resources for LGBTQ+ family planning.
Check out these resources for queer current and future parents.
kate_sept2004 via Getty Images
Check out these resources for queer current and future parents.

Over the last year or so, my partner and I have been scouring the internet to find everything we can about queer parenting, and I won’t lie — it isn’t exactly straightforward. It can be immensely frustrating to do so much digging to find basic information and stories about families like ours, and discover that, comparatively speaking, there is still so little out there.

Yes, it goes without saying that we are beyond lucky to live in a time in which there are incredible resources available to queer parents and those looking to explore family building, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Having to sift through the various technicalities can be demoralizing and depleting, especially when juxtaposed with the ease with which so many of my straight friends seem to get pregnant. At times, it can be hard to not feel embittered. There is just so much more to take into account, and the various processes can be exhausting.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart, especially with the compounded difficulties that have arisen during the pandemic. Having a support system is of the utmost importance in general, but it is especially vital for queer parents, as there are myriad unique issues that can arise during family building. Whether you’re only just starting to think about family planning or are in the thick of parenting, there are resources like podcasts, books and more available to help LBGTQ+ families feel supported.

Jesse Kahn, a psychotherapist, sex therapist and director of The Gender and Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City, talked us through some of the challenges that queer couples may face on their parenting journeys. “Something as simple as having all parents’ names on the birth certificate — which is often a given for straight parents — isn’t necessarily guaranteed for queer parents,” they said.

Other potential issues Kahn noted include a lack of access to healthcare and paid parental leave policies that often leave LGBTQ+ parents out. Often, insurance companies use exclusionary language that doesn’t take queer couples into consideration. As a result, queer people often do not have the same fertility coverage options as straight couples.

As if that weren’t enough, it can be more complicated for queer parents to find social support and safe spaces, including parenting and birthing classes. This makes it of vital importance that queer people share their knowledge. Kahn, who uses they/them pronouns, told HuffPost that “a great way queer parents can support each other is by sharing their experiences as well as recommendations and resources for knowledgeable LGBTQ+ affirming providers and organizations.”

The books and podcasts that I have turned to for help all speak with breathtaking honesty about the queer parenting journey ― the necessary legalities and processes, the heartache and, most importantly, the joy. Keep reading for my list of ultimate go-to queer parenting books and podcasts, and be sure to bookmark them so you’re ready to go when it’s your turn.

HuffPost may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page. Every item is independently selected by the HuffPost Shopping team. Prices and availability are subject to change.

Books

1
A resource for nonbiological lesbian moms
"Confessions Of the Other Mother" is filled with the personal stories of women as they enter new parenting roles. It pulls back the curtain on what has been a long unexamined perspective of lesbian parenting. It's funny, moving and, thankfully, celebratory.

Get it from Amazon for $18.
2
A funny memoir
Actor, writer and producer Dan Bucatinsky details with hilarious and searing honesty his hunger to become a parent and the road he took to become one.

Get it from Amazon for $16.99.
3
A collection of stories from LGBTQ+ couples
Award-winning "Journey To Same-Sex Parenthood" is a must for queer parents. It explores adoption, foster care, assisted reproduction, surrogacy and co-parenting through the LGBTQ+ lens. Each option is described at length, enriched with personal stories from same-sex couples and queer individuals. It also tackles the important legal issues to consider, making it an all-around vital resource.

Get it from Amazon for $50.01.
4
An accessible, research-based book on queer families
"Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children" is a comprehensive look at the research on same-sex parenthood. It distills various in-depth studies, making them easy to understand, while offering practical recommendations in every chapter.

Get it from Amazon starting at $12.43.
5
A collection of essays by the children of LGBTQ+ families
"Raised by Unicorns: Stories from People with LGBTQ+ Parents" is a curated anthology that brings together the stories of people — from Boomers to Gen Z — who were raised by queer parents. It's frank, visceral and full of love.

Get it from Amazon for $13.25.
6
A collection of essays on queer parenting
Various contributors highlight the many meaningful ways that LGBTQ+ people choose to become parents and raise children. Ruth Cameron, a Black lesbian mother, wrote this about "Who's Your Daddy?" in The Feminist Review: "I assumed that a resource like this wouldn't yet exist. On searching, I discovered a literary road map to queer parenting and family that is current, diverse and mini-encyclopedic in its breadth. Reading this work made me feel as though I had added to my family of choice."

Get it from Amazon for $42.78.
7
An indispensible resource for single lesbians and couples
"The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians" has everything you need on topics from choosing a sperm donor and tracking fertility to the small print in legal papers. It has a vast resource section and wonderful insight into preconception planning for both single lesbians and couples.

Get it from Amazon for $16.53.
8
An important resource on adoption
"Adoption Nation" is an important read for anyone who is interested in taking the foster and adoption route. It explores the history and impact of adoption, challenging myths and telling individual stories. It highlights issues relating to race, identity, equality, discrimination and more.

Get it from Amazon for $5.02.
9
An exploration of what makes a parent
"And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families" dives into the role of the "known donor" and what that means in the queer family structure. It is a nuanced, thought-provoking look at new roles, rules and how to build a family and create lifelong connections.

Get it from Amazon for $15.95.
10
An insightful perspective on queer families
"Families Like Mine" is a practical and personal account detailing both the author's and others' stories. Abigail Garner interviewed more than 50 grown children of queer parents, providing valuable insight into their experiences.

Get it from Amazon for $13.69.
11
A collection of images and personal stories
"Love Makes A Family" shares the experiences of LGBTQ+ parents and their children. Alongside beautiful portraits, family members tell the stories of their lives, relationships and challenges. It includes a diverse array of racial, ethnic and economic backgrounds to put the spotlight on the many ways that one can make a beautiful family.

Get it from Amazon for $21.27.

Podcasts

If These Ovaries Could Talk — Lesbian hosts Jamie and Robin discuss the family-building process and non-traditional families with humor and candor to normalize and celebrate the queer parenting experience.

Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast — Yan and Alex, a married couple with twins, discuss parenting, relationships and more. Each week, they speak to guests and tackle issues that arise in parenting in general and gay parenting in particular.

The Gayest Show On Birth — Hosts Kate and Karyne take us on their journey through reciprocal IVF using Karyne’s eggs, donor sperm and Kate’s uterus.

The Longest Shortest Time — While technically not queer-specific, this podcast deals with all kinds of parenting and family-building stories. There is a series specifically for queer parenting and another on single women who are sperm shopping (and much more) that I found to be of interest.

Outspoken Voices: A Podcast For LGBTQ+ Stories — This podcast was created by Family Equality and has new episodes every month with guests that address important topics for queer families and members of the LGBTQ+ community who are thinking about starting a family.

Rose and Rosie: Parental Guidance — Comedy duo and married couple Rose and Rosie take listeners on their journey to becoming parents while also speaking to friends and peers who have already navigated the experience. Often it is very lighthearted, and during my darker moments, I will admit I found it flippant. But their candor regarding the difficulties they faced and a compelling interview with a sperm donor won me back in the end.

Some Families — Hosts Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley are dedicated to celebrating LGBTQ+ families via funny and emotional stories from diverse families. They explore all routes to queer parenthood, including adoption, IUI and IVF donor insemination, surrogacy and co-parenting. As if that weren’t enough, they also dive into topics like transitioning gender as a parent, growing up with queer parents, fostering, raising disabled children and general parenting highs and lows. It’s a truly wonderful resource.

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