A doctor, a politician, a humanitarian -- there are many things parents may wish their children will become. But there's one way no parent ever wants to describe their child: spoiled.
Ron Lieber, the New York Times' "Your Money" columnist and author of the new book The Opposite Of Spoiled, says he knows how to avoid that from happening.
"The reason that word makes hairs rise up on people's arms is because spoiled is a passive verb in addition to an adjective. It's, 'Spoiled by whom?' Spoiled by you! It's an indictment of your parenting because they are not born that way," Lieber told HuffPost Live's Nancy Redd on Wednesday.
One of Lieber's suggestions for avoiding the dreaded "spoiled" label is to separate a child's chores from his or her allowance. After hearing from a HuffPost Live viewer who does pay her kids for chores, Lieber outlined the problem with that method this way:
At some point they're going to get wise to the whole system. They're going to decide that they have enough money and then they're gonna say to [their mother], "We don't want to do the chores this week, and we don't want to do the chores next week, and we don't want to do the chores next month." And then she's in a little bit of a pickle, because the deal she set was that they get paid if they do their chores, which will [teach] them that if they don't want the money, then they don't have to do the chores.
According to Lieber's philosophy, kids should look at chores just like adults do.
"They should do them for free, the same way we do. And if we want leverage over them, then we can take away their privileges and not their money," he said.
With his own 9-year-old daughter, Lieber is transparent about the role of the allowance he gives out each week.
"We say, 'Look, money is for practice. It's a teaching tool in the same way that the books we buy for you or the art supplies that you have or the electronic keyboard that you take your lessons on. ... These are things we do because we think these teaching tools are things you need, and we want you to practice with money,'" Lieber explained.
Sign up here for Live Today, HuffPost Live’s morning email that will let you know the newsmakers, celebrities and politicians joining us that day and give you the best clips from the day before!
Related
Before You Go
I felt you. You were a pea. Then a lemon. Then an eggplant.
I followed advice. I read twelve books. I quit coffee.
Could you tell I was scared?
I talked to you, sang to you ... I wasn't ready.
But then you were here. Ten toes. Eight pounds. Love. Big, fat love.
I held you. I fed you. I realized that I would spend my life doing things to make you happy -- and that that would make me happy.
And then there are the times I want to give up. You've made me rethink my sanity. You've made me want to fall on my mother's feet and tell her that I get it.
But then you smile and you say my name -- and you grab my hand with those little fingers.
We're growing together. We are seeing the world like it's new. I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you. You'll giggle, and I'll do it all over again. And we will walk hand in hand. Until you let go.
I made you, but you made me a mother.
Then, they found out that billions of people do all this each and every day. When the applicants found out just who holds the title of "World's Toughest Job," some were brought to tears. Watch the whole video here.
In a photo series which she calls "Blended," which went viral in July, the Georgia-based photographer captures Sam's first moments with his family. She explained that the project also documents "the power of love, the agonizing wait (and then elation) of adoption, the welcoming of another life into our clan, and what it means to be a biracial family." See the rest of the images here.
The photographers showcased the beautiful images they captured on Rogers' Facebook page, as well as their own blogs and social media. The collection of images went viral on HuffPost Parents in August. See the rest of the photos here.
