What Made Sheryl Sandberg Give Herself Permission To Date Again

Her late husband’s family actually brought it up.

Society can be hard on widows who date after a spouse’s death, but Sheryl Sandberg isn’t allowing herself to be swept away by the sea of varying opinions on the topic ― she has given herself permission to find happiness once again.

The Facebook COO and author of Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy recently opened up about dating during a conversation with Oprah Winfrey on OWN’s “SuperSoul Sunday.” Sandberg, whose husband, Dave, died suddenly in 2015 of a cardiac arrhythmia, says that before she even gave herself permission to date, it was Dave’s family who first encouraged her.

“The people who gave me permission were Dave’s mom and brother. They were the first people to mention dating to me,” Sandberg says. “I think it’s because they had lost Dave’s father, so they had that experience.”

Still, the idea of dating was a hard one for Sandberg to adjust to.

“The thing is, I never wanted to date again. I knew who I wanted to spend my life with,” she says. “But option A is gone. And so, the permission I got from my closest friends and family ― even though I did get some public criticism ― really mattered, and I want Option B to give people that permission.”

As much as Sandberg’s story has been about grief and loss, she says it’s also a love story.

“You love after someone dies. I love Dave, every bit as much as I ever did,” she says, her voice breaking. “I’m dating someone. I have joy. I have sorrow. But death does not end a relationship, and death does not end love.”

You can watch Sandberg’s full interview with Oprah on WatchOWN.tv from now through Feb. 5, 2018.

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Before You Go

How To Tell Your Adult Kids You're Dating Again
Are You A Couple?(01 of05)
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Nothing wrong with being cautious and slow. Before you tell your adult children that you are dating again (or make a big deal about someone specific), make sure that the two of you are a couple. Ask yourself whether you feel serious about this person. You don't want to get your adult children involved, attached, or concerned when it's not necessary. (credit:Alamy)
This Person Makes Me Happy(02 of05)
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If you want to win over your adult children, just tell them that this new partner makes you happy. How can your children have a problem with that? Remember that your kids want to make sure it's someone who cares about you and is trustworthy, because children of all ages don't want their parents to get hurt. Also, many adult children are concerned that a new partner will "financially" and "emotionally" take advantage of their parent. Keep these two concerns in mind when you talk to your adult children.Flickr photo via: Kunni Kun. (credit:Flickr:Kunni Kun)
Give Your New Partner The "Scoop" On Everyone(03 of05)
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The more information your new partner has before they meet your adult children, the better. Don't fear telling your partner too much. The more information they have about your adult children the easier it will be for them to ask questions, seem interested, and join the conversation.Flickr photo via: Petteri Sulonen. (credit:Flickr:Petteri Sulonen)
Act Like A Couple When You Do Meet(04 of05)
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It is important that your adult children observe the two of you sharing responsibilities and enjoying each other's company. A great idea: getting together for a meal - have the partner and adult children meet over dinner or lunch! At the dinner, if you cook the turkey, have your partner make the mashed potatoes. If he doesn't cook, have him set the table. Work together as a team.Flickr photo by: rhurtubia. (credit:Flickr:rhurtubia)
Talk To Adult Children With An Open Mind(05 of05)
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No matter their age, explain why you're dating again, that no one will ever replace their other parent, and now that they are older - you too need companionship. Don't dismiss their concerns - instead, if you validate their concerns, they won't get defensive. If you say instead: "I understand that you are worried about me and you're not sure this is right for me. I hear you. I promise you, I will come and let you know if anything doesn't feel right to me about this person. I won't hesitate to let you know. But, right now - he makes me happy. I enjoy his company and I am being cautious, slow and safe." (credit:Alamy)