When Someone You Love Is Voting for Trump

Watching someone you love express enthusiasm for Donald Trump can be devastating. But the fact that you are reading this means that you care enough about the person's massive f-cked-upness to go out of your way to help. Remember that it's this help that may make the difference between our country falling completely into the shitter, or just coasting along for a few more years before the ice caps finally melt and half of America needs snorkels to live in their underwater houses. The time to act is now.

Any support for Donald Trump is dysfunctional and disruptive not only in the Trump supporter's life, but to anyone connected to this person.

For families and friends of Trump supporters, feelings of fear, shame, anger, guilt, frustration and confusion over a loved one's head-up-their-ass can cause deep anxiety and sleepless nights. Not to mention acute pain from repeatedly slamming their fists into a concrete wall after seeing Facebook updates that show GIFs of Hillary Clinton and Obama being pooped on by the bald eagle that Rush Limbaugh is squeezing. Self-care is important! Take time to reinvigorate yourself in environments where there are no red-faced old men and/or televisions broadcasting Fox News (e.g. Planned Parenthood, an organic hemp farm, Boulder, Colorado.)

The emotional distress family and friends of Trump supporters suffer is often compounded by the belief that they somehow caused or contributed to their loved one's loss of all common sense and moral decency by exposing them to The Apprentice and Celebrity Apprentice, and stating things like, "The more immigrants, the better, I say! Anything to increase the dating pool! Woot!" at family gatherings. But you are not to blame.

No doubt you have also experienced a conflicted feeling of affection for the supporter, like when they enthusiastically donned their "Make America Great Again" hat and cold-cocked a quiet black guy at the last Trump rally. You must remember that it is normal to feel proud of your Trump supporter for making the national news! Albeit in the same way Charles Manson's mother was proud of her son's team-building skills. The important thing is that you don't beat yourself up for your emotions and compassion because, unlike your Trump supporter, you actually have some.

If the angry military surplus store shopper in your life has begun to show signs of supporting Trump, all is not lost. You can take certain steps to save them from themselves. Steps like refusing to pick up white sheets, lighter fluid and 2x4's for them when you're out running errands. Steps like not letting them near people who have skin in a shade darker than typing paper. Remember, early intervention is key with Trump supporters, before any sort of formal treatment/electroshock has begun or even been agreed to by either you or federal authorities. Or at least before Tuesday, November 8, 2016 seriously for the love of god.

One thing that has proven to be very helpful when dealing with the Trump supporter in your life, and can be easily undertaken without any kind of confrontation with the potentially afflicted person, is to educate yourself about Canada and Canadian-related work visas. I hear Iceland is super nice.

But remember: the first step to saving your Trump supporter is for him to admit he has a problem with being a human being. Unfortunately, the likelihood of this happening is equal to the likelihood of Donald seeing an immigrant in the road and not stomping on the gas pedal, so you must be patient. Your loved one has fallen under the spell of the Orange Menace and is not be in control of their critical thinking skills. It is not their fault.

But I don't know. He still might be better than that freak Ted Cruz.