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The Big Juicy Secret Nobody Tells You About Aging

It actually gets better as you get older. You get better. Life gets better. The merry-go-round slows down and you can finally enjoy the ride. I'm not going to tell you it's easy; especially in this economy or that it happens automatically like your invitation to join AARP. But it is possible as long as you're willing to do the work.
By 

Astrologer and author of Midlife Is Not a Crisis: Using Astrology to Thrive in the Second Half of Life

Astrologer and author of Midlife Is Not a Crisis: Using Astrology to Thrive in the Second Half of Life
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It actually gets better as you get older. You get better. Life gets better. The merry-go-round slows down and you can finally enjoy the ride. I'm not going to tell you it's easy; especially in this economy or that it happens automatically like your invitation to join AARP. But it is possible as long as you're willing to do the work; the inner work. It's necessary to make peace with yourself, your past, and the whole process of aging. That naturally involves forgiveness, compassion, and patience; for yourself first of all and for others. In fact, aging is the ultimate 12-step program; Aging Anonymous! Instead of giving up drugs or drinking, you have to give up all the things you're still holding onto; the material things as well as the emotional baggage; the grudges, resentment, and regrets. It doesn't happen overnight; it's an ongoing process and like any recovery work it's tough, humbling but ultimately life changing.

As we get into our late fifties and sixties it's more about being than doing; less about succeeding in the world and more about finding meaning within. Don't get me wrong; that doesn't mean we can't continue to be active, ambitious and successful but hopefully the ego is no longer calling the shots; the motivation comes from a deeper place. When we're young we're forging ahead, intent on constructing an identity and changing the world. As we age there is a greater need for wisdom, self-knowledge and transcendence. The projects we pursue and the life we lead need to reflect that and be aligned with who we are now and not who we once were. If we're able to make that transition then getting older can be a rich and fulfilling experience.

1.Finding a purpose for this phase of life is essential: It doesn't have to be professional but we all need something that brings us joy and gives us a way to be in the world as an elder person. For many it's the time to teach or consult in their field. For others it means spending time with grandchildren, traveling, volunteering, or finally writing that book that has been calling them. Still others are reinventing themselves and finding new energy in the process. The beauty of these late-in-life pursuits is that they are based less on achievement and recognition and more on passion which is why they are so often succeed. Finding something to devote our lives to is part of the great adventure as we age.

2.If you don't have a purpose then take some time to discover it: Ask yourself, if you died at this moment what would you regret not having done? A life review is a valuable process; one that is highly respected among psychologists, social workers and gerontologists. It involves writing down (or sharing in a group) past life events as a way to bring to consciousness the different stages of our life and integrate any unresolved conflicts. The result can bring a fresh perspective, greater self-acceptance and empower us in moving forward. Jane Fonda writes about this in her book, Prime Time, in which she shares her personal experience of doing a life review and the healing that resulted.

3.Develop your inner life: Carl Jung believed what healed patients in the second half of life was to cultivate a spiritual outlook. He recommended tools such as dream analysis and creativity. Journaling, prayer, or spending time in nature are also ways to awaken those parts of the self that were not developed while we were building a career and constructing our social persona. Meditation is one of the best ways to not only deepen our inner life but become more present and live more fully. Meditation enhances and strengthens every area; spiritual, physical and emotional and there's absolutely no downside. Pema Chodron's book, How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind is a wonderful introduction to this ancient practice.

4.Simplify, simplify, simplify: As we age the desire to acquire is less and the need to scale down becomes stronger. Our focus is shifting and we don't have the time or physical energy to deal with a lot of stuff. That includes relationships, activities and feelings that are holding us back. This can be challenging which is why the inner work is so crucial; by paying attention to the inner messages and feelings we receive guidance for the journey ahead.

Getting older doesn't mean you have to give up your shiny red high heels or highlights -- hell no! On the other hand, you don't have to suffer in those towering heels and you have the freedom to let your hair go grey if you choose. Ultimately, aging well it's about being authentic; discovering your own rhythm, making your own rules, going at your own speed. It's being flexible enough to change and grow but not feeling pressured to stay relevant and look youthful. So lean back, lean in, reach up, lie down and most of all love yourself where you are.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

11 Easy Ways To Shorten Your Life
1. Make Bad Dietary Choices(01 of11)
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Over the years, there's been a lot of debate related to diet and longevity. But most experts agree that a diet low in sugar and refined carbohydrates is best. And some studies show that eating a traditional Mediterranean diet can add years to your life. (credit:Shutterstock)
2. Never Check Your Cholesterol(02 of11)
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Just like high blood pressure, high cholesterol can also increase your risk of heart disease and stroke. Therefore it's a good idea to have your cholesterol checked to see whether you need to undergo certain lifestyle changes or even possibly take some kind of cholesterol-lowering medication. For more information about cholesterol and saturated fats, go here.Eating certain foods, such as beans, which are rich in fiber and antioxidants, can help lower cholesterol. (credit:Getty Images)
3. Mix Alcohol And Prescription Or Illicit Drugs(03 of11)
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Even drinking wine with dinner and then taking prescription sleep aides can be a lethal combination. A U.S. Department of Health and Human Services study found 5.8 percent of people age 50 to 59 used illicit drugs in 2010, up from 2.7 percent in 2002. (credit:Alamy)
4. Never Check For Diabetes(04 of11)
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The number of Americans with Type 2 diabetes is expected to rise from 30 million today to 46 million by 2030, when one of every four boomers -- 14 million -- will be living with this chronic disease, according to the National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion.

Untreated diabetes can lead to blindness, amputations and clogged arteries that can cause heart attacks and strokes. The test to determine whether you are diabetic is a simple blood test; you should remind your doctor to include it in your annual physical. (credit:Alamy)
5. Pack On The Pounds(05 of11)
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More than one out of every three boomers -- more than 21 million -- will be considered obese by 2030. Already, we are the demographic with the highest and fastest-growing rate of obesity. As we age, our metabolism slows down and we burn fewer calories -- if we don't alter our eating and exercise patterns, weight gain is inevitable. Obesity can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, and a host of other life-threatening ailments. Losing just 10 percent of your body weight has health benefits, so consider that as a goal. (credit:Alamy)
6. Ignore The Signs Of A Heart Attack(06 of11)
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No chest pain doesn't mean no heart attack. Women having heart attacks frequently report experiencing a feeling of indigestion and extreme fatigue, while some men say they feel a fullness or a squeezing pain in the center of the chest, which may spread to the neck, shoulder or jaw. When a diabetic has a heart attack, the pain is often displaced to other areas such as the lower back. (credit:Alamy)
7. Get Little Sleep(07 of11)
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Try as you might, you just can't stay asleep, right? You pass out before "60 Minutes" is over, but then wake up around midnight and count sheep until the alarm goes off. If that sounds like you, you aren't alone. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that boomers report not getting enough sleep between one and 13 nights each month.Is it life-threatening? In itself, no. But as soon as you slip behind the wheel bleary-eyed, you are putting yourself and others at risk. Your reflexes are slower, you pay less attention and you could become one of the more than 100,000 Americans who fall asleep at the wheel and crash each year. And the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that's a conservative estimate, by the way. Driver fatigue results in an estimated 1,550 deaths, 71,000 injuries and $12.5 billion in monetary losses. (credit:Alamy)
8. Avoid Exercise(08 of11)
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AARP says the minimum you need to stay healthy are muscle-strengthening exercises twice a week, plus 2.5 hours a week of moderate activity like walking or 75 minutes a week of a more intense activity like jogging. Exercise is also good for your memory: Just one year of walking three times a week can increase the size of the hippocampus, the part of the brain that's key to memory. (credit:Alamy)
9. Carry The World's Burdens On Your Shoulders(09 of11)
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We're talking about stress with a capital S. Boomers are the sandwich generation, caught in the middle of caring for our parents and our children. We were deeply affected by the recession and boomers have the highest rates of depression by age demographic. Unless we unload, we are going to implode. (credit:Alamy)
10. Carry A Beer Belly And A Caboose(10 of11)
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It isn't just our extra weight; it's where we carry it. An excess of visceral fat causes our abdomens to protrude excessively. We call it a "pot belly" or "beer belly" or if the visceral fat is on our hips and buttocks, we say we are "apple shaped." Cute names aside, scientists now say that body fat, instead of body weight, is the key to evaluating obesity. And guess what? It's all bad. (credit:Alamy)
11. Continue To Smoke(11 of11)
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Gallup found that baby boomers between the ages of 44 and 54 reported higher levels of smoking than those immediately younger or those who are older. Hard to imagine that they haven't gotten the word yet about the risks cigarettes carry. (credit:Alamy)

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